It’s been a fun weekend. If you consider a weekend starting on Wednesday. Skip Thursday, and Friday was a fun night at home with Jaque-oh, Legion and movies (George told me I could reschedule with him to hang out and now he is pissed about it. I love the new Charlie’s Angels), Saturday was wild clubbing with a bag full of kink, after seeing League of Extraordinairy Gentlemen (Pete Townsend was exploding my panties, and the movie was pretty, but lacked a lot…very comic book, just like it was based on).

Yesterday I was exhausted. Jaque-oh and I slept all day, went to dinner, went out clubbing, I fell asleep with Leo at the club, and woke to tell Jaque-Oh I just needed to be home.

I got up for a session, back to sleep, woke to Jaque-oh cooking breakfast. About to go do more domestic stuff with jaque-oh, have another session, while she heads to work, and then catch up with her there.

Jaque-oh said she was trying to beat me to cooking breakfast for once. It’s nice having someone artound. Usually I like living alone, but since Alien died, I hadn’t wanted to be alone.

I have taken on a novice dominant. We have been friends for a little while now, but as of lately she and I have been inseperable.

I am really sentimental sappy and happy about all of it. There are a lot of typo-s in the following post because I am just bubbling over with mush emotional PMS. So I really made a lot of errors by just trying to keep up with my excitability. I am so so so happy. But I still am fiesty and wickedly sadistic as well.

WARNING: THIS ENTRY IS VERY LONG, VERY INTENSE, AND GRAPHIC.
IT IS ABOUT A DAY OF NOTHING BUT HARDCORE BDSM. ABOUT THE INTENSE SPIRITUAL, SEXUAL, MENTAL ASSESSMENT OF ALMOST 24 HOURS OF NONSTOP BDSM…AND I STILL AM HUNGRY FOR MORE.

Life is good. I have been having fun with my slaves and working a lot, and for almost every second of the last 4 days I have been hanging with Jaque-oh.

I don’t feel very desciptive today. I have so much to do, I have 2 sessions, a meeting and a dungeon rental, “empty” is coming by and I am going out with Jaque-oh to dance and be merry after she gets off work. And Thursday is about the same run down.

Everything seems to be in it’s place. And this week has provided a lot of stress relief with handling one of the “problem children” in my life. Of course that was probably further aided with PMS. It seems last time I had PMS I had to handle another boy who was chapping my ass in much the same manner.

I have lived with my own problems and those of friends of mine that were caused by psycho, shit talking little boys. If there is one thing I have learned through my own experiences, it is to nip it in the bud. Don’t take shit…I rather die on my feet than live on my knees. (I have a theory that some of this is the Texan in me).

If you want to know why a certain someone hates me more now then ever before…it is because I finally got fully fed up with his psycho phone calls at 5 in the morning, his harassment, and finally he destrurbed my contentment of him giving me the silent treatment to open his mouth and talk shit to me…

Some people are just asking for it, and if they ask from me, I just might give it to them…repeatedly upside the head!

You’d think that having a new cat would help me to get over my baby’s death. Not this shitty kitty!

I just bought a new cell phone, and charger just a few days ago. I leave him alone for 5 minutes ( I had accidentallty forgot to recover the cord with a towel) and low and behold, I no longer have a charger for my phone!

Oh he wasn’t satisfied with all the cat waster products I had to pick up, all the clothes he’s ruined, the apholstery on my dungeon equipment that he has torn to shreds, and the getting all hyped up and biting and scratching me…NO. This little fucke has to destroy some thing very important that I use daily! My phone charger!!!!

I have given up on his name. He is cat, kitty, freak, freak show, dirty little nasty bastzard, shit machine, asshole, filthy little fucker…oh yes. I must be desperate for kitty companionship to allow this worthless little asshole destroy everything. I don’t want to share myself with other people very often, but I think I should of stuck with a female cat. I never had a problem with girl kitties. Boys are nicer, but I like prissy bitch kitties. My aAien was the most spoiled priss in the world!

I went out till dawn, only having one cosmo…watch the drama of Decatur Street. It is fairly amusing. I was thinking how I needed to make a soap opera of it all for television.

I went to bed, hoping to sleep till “empty” was supposed to call, but I had a horrible dream of tons of maggots. They got in my hair and clothes, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t wash them out, and then these birds came to eat the maggots and pooped on every one, which washed off but still left the maggots. I have been having a lot of screwy dreams lately.

I got up, watched the two signed Cleo du Bois videos “empty” got me at her workshop. One was so amazing…the scene was so intense with one girl in the “Pain Game” that Cleo was in tears. I have respected her and her husband, Fakir Masufar, for many years. I have been very interested in body modifications in all its forms. Piercing, tattoos and recently hooking I am currently involved in. I have been corset trained 10 inches from my original size. I want to return to corseting. I also want to do a practice called “well turned ankles” where you break and reform the arch.

When my ex-fiance and I first met he was tight binding his calves to have a pattern of rings up and down them much like corseting. I also am intrigued by sub-dermal implants, branding and scarring. I have done several burns on me, but not on others. I have considered having Kali and Domina Shannon do some mods on me, such as brands, cuttings and if I had more ear (my ears are very very small) I would have this beautiful clipping done.

I love the feel of control over my own body, making it go beyond my perceived limitations. The times in my past where I switched I was able to go really deep.

But I realized last week in the hooking, with the way I resisted the pull, that I need to get back in touch with all of it, If possible, I will get hooked again at the Hi-Ho tonight.

I think that I need this a bit to re-establish balance between my top ego and the depth of the rest of my persona.

I am cleaning house in preparation of the long day ahead, so I can have a disco nap prior to the first session of the day and feel more rested.

I am in a mummification mood, so one of the 3 sessions or maybe even two of them will find themself in a coccoon. And if two doesn’t get the urge out of my system and consensual limits coincide…I might go for 3.

There is only an hour buffer between each, so I won’t be able to go the almost 45 minutes over session like I had with the cricket session. And after the last session I will need another nap before going out to eighties night.

I can’t wait till it is officially the weekend for my friends. Come Friday I will get to see people I have been wanting to see all week.

I have to get back to cleaning, I was just journaling through a bite of breakfast, and after having a refreshing bath. What simple pleasures!

The one household chore I have been avoiding is laundry…it is my big peeve.

Today I had a session with a cute little novice. He had a nervous habit of curling his fingers on both hands and shaking his legs. So nervous he could hardly maintain his breathing…maybe next time he will have more of the trust to let go. It is essential to trust your captor and dominant.

I went very light on him, though even a tender sweet floggin, trying to slowly build him hup, became “safe word” worthy in his mind. Poor boy, it may take him a couple of times to let go where he needs to be.