I hope I don’t miss at the Country Club.

I love Todd…it will suck swimming with out him. Gotta pay an ad while I’m out there too.

Where is Jacque-oh? She is MIA and her phone is here. She wanted me to go with her last night, but I was a good girl and slept.

Swimming delayed.

Dammit. This appointment was set for noon…I told him I am a dominatrix, I don’t do massage, I ran down a simplified list of the most requested activities I get into.

He shows up before 11:15. When he asked for 11:30 on the phone I told him “No” and he accepted the noon appointment. Then he shows up at 11:45 because I wouldn’t let him in. I still told him to come back at noon. I will not be manipulated into a time when i told him on the phone “Not till noon.”

Then he comes back at noon. Actually 12:04, but this is not as bad as rushing me, and not excessively late.

We sit down for consensual negotiations. He says that he wants basically foreplay because his wife neglects him. “No!” I tell him that those are the services escorts provide that is why their ads say, “the girl friend experience”.

I tell him I need him to be able to express his consensual limitations, and have some reasonable insight to where his fantasies stem in BDSM. I don’t follow script, but his fantasies clue me into the dynamic, and his psychological approach to the scene. Psychology is essential to BDSM, to know what mostlikely spawned his fantasies, and to know how to use his fantasies to take him somewhere new and exciting that works with my fantasies and fetishes.

Then out of his desperation for some type of attention he says he will do what ever to be allowed to stay. I wouldn’t accept it. I need to know that the person before me is giving themself to me because there is a want to, not because they are so lonely and desperate that even bad attention would be good attention. I need to know that I am not going to hear the safeword every five seconds. If they call safe words every few seconds it usually means that neither of us derive any pleasure from the scene. Both of us leave frustrated, and I get a huge headache.

If I did domination strictly because of financial gain I would have no problem accepting that session, but I love BDSM, and to accept it would ruin something that I find great pleasure in.

The moral of this story…communicate clearly, know what you are here for, and don’t cause me a headache or I will send you home….No soup for you.

Girls, don’t be a psycho ex…if a guy says “don’t talk to me ever again” or leave me alone” take it very literal.

Last night, my off again on again boyfriend of 4 years broke down after a week long apart and called me. When I saw his name on the caller ID my first words out of my mouth were, “gigggle giggle, are you still mad at me?”

He responds in discussion about how he hates that he can’t stay mad at me (even though I stood him up 3 days in a row), that I shouldn’t always assume that we will come back together, and that he needs me to be more reliable.

I just don’t take him seriously. I do my thing, I do what I want, and if he throws a tantrum, that’s fine. Let him stomp and pout it all out, and when he is over it he will call. And if not I will most likely be too busy to notice.

Plus, he is such a good boy he understands the dynamic I like to live my relationships under. That the word “boyfriend” really is very flexible. Boyfriend is usually the priority boy…this is why I still refer to him as my ex when we date. And then there are my gay boyfriends…who are gay boys I joke about marrying and having kids with (eeek, just joking). Then there are “fuckboys”. They are the ones that are whores so they can’t be called a boy friend because they just can’t. They are usually the bad boys that are better in bed, and crazy as all hell (psychos usually are more fun in bed), and because they can’t play you into believing they aren’t a whore they have a hard time in adjusting to caring about you intensly. I know a whore when I see one, and even though I will still date them, I let them know that I know they are sluts and that I don’t care as long as they don’t lie to me, they keep the other people they see out of my way, don’t fuck with my money, and don’t bring me cooties.

Then there is the special fuck boys who are called “designated fuckboy”…which is when I like a slut boy enough to keep interested in just him for a few months, before using my rights in an open relationship.

Around the 7th of August Jacque-Oh and I will be flown to Houston for a few days. I love my Houston boys, and one has made arrangements for us to fly. This means I will get to play with all those I miss so much. I will get to get some new fetish clothes because the stores here just don’t have what they have back home. WE WILL BE IN FOR FRIDAYS AT #’s.

I will probably see about doing some sessions out of Mistress Lara Paine or Mistress Precious’s dungeon. Joy Joy Joy. I haven’t seen Mistress Precious since she flew here for a fetish party at my dungeon. And I haven’t seen Lara since January. Maybe she will have a dungeon party that weekend, or maybe there will be and HPEP function.

Any of my Houston friends want to put us up? I am certain Lara will, she did one of the last times. I always have her here. I love my Lara.

Also I will get to see my Dez!!! And her family…I love her whole little tribe. That means I don’t have to wait till November to see her again. I love you Dez!

This time I won’t have my pouting ex there, and will be able to do #’s like we used to. I wish Shannon were still in Texas when I visit, but she will be in New Mexico (what a hideous place).

Speaking of Hideous!!! Where is my Hideous Jeff? God, I love and miss all of you.
Maddy, Sarah, Michelle, Batty, Kelly, Miss Hell, Gear-mo, Sandra, Miss Marcus, Jason, Karen, Kyle, Carmina, Heather, Jennifer, all of you I didn’t name.

Texas is the place! Drop your pants, bend over and squeel like a pig.

I am doing the “happy dance”. I am bubbling over with love for all over you, I feel like I’m going to pop. I will die of anticipation. I will die to get to be with you guys.

And I have a season pass to Six Flags so maybe it should be hardcore underground day at AstroWorld!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL OF YOU!

I don’t smoke, but damned if the session I just had doesn’t make me want a cigarette!

Christ! I had Jaque-oh join me as a sub for a voyeur session. This is the first time she has had a pro-sub scene. She usually subs for me just for our own kicks.

We had such a wonderful scene that all of us, including the guest voyuer were just giddy and glowing after. Damn. I am just as dizzy from it as she is. I kept her underwear on her the whole scene…more because it was our first time seeing him, and that would be a bit more personal, once he gets to know us better we might reconcider the stance. I still did genital torture/teasing and torment, just behind the shroud of lace panties.

It was the first time I did shi-bari bondage on her. Her breast are perfect for bondage. And the suction cups really got her attention. I gave her an altoids strip in the panties, cinnamon flavored, just to spice it up before I electrified her.

Hmmmmm. We have a session in a little while where we are both going to dominate a sub together. I can not begin to express what a help she has been. And she is fun. We are rather attatched. This morning I found myself telling my company that I was dying to wake her up…he asked why, and I said because Jaque and I have so much fun and I just want to play.

She says that she finds herself missing me like crazy the few hours that we spend apart while she is at work. We go out and get into lots of fun trouble at night, and spend our days talking, sleeping, and working together.

I can’t wait till 9 and we play with a subby together, and then dash out to 1984 at 735 Bourbon. Wheeeeeeee. Beware New Orleans, we are quite a gruesome twosome.

I have had less than a handful of people this close to me. Shannon and Claudia are the main two…but Claudia didn’t share my professional life. Shannon and Jaque both have been involved in every aspect of my life. I miss my Claudia, goddamn it. Anytime anything happens I want to pick up the phone and share it with her.

Last night was fun.

I had 3 hours of play with an intense masochist from Italy. He actually wants to write about me for a European fetish mag. Makes me wonder if I shouldn’t go over seas, since I have been recieving a lot of recognition in Cz, UK, and Italy, and not counting the numerous German fans I have. I seem to really enjoy my Europeans too, they seem a bit more adventurous. i love it. I especially have really bonded with the Scots I have played with, which there were many in Houston.

After the session, he and I went to dinner, I went out shopping down Bourbon Street and to a night club with him.

My lovely assistant/friend/roommate/play partner will be going to dinner with one of my slave boys and myself tomorrow, she missed out last night. We seem to eat out with slave boys atleast 4 times aweek. We are supposed to go to SixFlags with one, but we never wake up intime…we rather a weekday. We are also supposed to go to the Country Club and swim.

Last night I met up with her when she left work. We were with all the old Hide Out crod at Lounge Lizards. They are now 24/7 so all the Hide Out people don’t end up without a place to congregate.

Well, I am about out the door for the evening. I just had a delicious spinach crab and mozarella salad, coffee enema, and a bath aand feel all fresh and clean and wide a wake. Time for Jaque-oh and I to eat our vitamines and dash.

I love the new cell phone, I down loaded a Twisted Sister ring tone…Now I hear “We’re not gonna take it!” Umpteen million times aday. I almost don’t even want to pick up because I want to let it play.

Jaque oh and I shopped ourselves to death today. I bought tons of new matching panty and bra sets. This is one of my obsessions. She got new boots and a sexy outfit, and jewelry. And I have this current obsession with black O-ring bracelets like Madonna used to wear on the self titled album.

Too much fun. I just had to go to Smoothie King for a healthy snack before this next session which will be a bit lengthy. I don’t know if I will still go out tonight.

Walking down Bourbon St. last night with jaque-oh, I accidentally got a job…I am bartending for private balcony parties for Bourbon Street Balconies and Facilities. It was fun last night. This well to-do man and his cute little girlfriend rented out the whole place for just the two of them so I basically did nothing but watch them throw beadas while Jaque-oh and I had a couple of drinks with them and listen to music.

My friends all seem to be looking for work and Jaque-oh and I just land on this job by accident. She and I are going to be on call for balcony rentals, and if I can’t make it she can, and if she can’t make it I can.

I knew the owner of the place, but didn’t know he owned that set up. We just saw him on the street asked him to come out for a drink, and he said, “Why don’t we just go to my bar?” Then he explained he was about to have the place rented for a few hours, and I offered to help since he was alone, and got hired.

He’s curious about the dungeon too.

It never hurts to have supplemental income, especially in a fickle adult buisiness. Domination is a luxury, and when the economy suffers, luxuries are the first to go.

Well, things are actually doing alright. I have a subby from yesterday coming back tomorrow, and I have a session in less than an hour.

When Jaque-oh wakes up we have to do an over haul around here. My two favorite dungeons are clean, but we dress and socialize in the rest of the house, so there are clothes, papers and hair stuff to be organized and put up. It is clean but currently unorganized.

Jaque-oh starts at a new club tonight. If I don’t work at one of the balconies I will be at 735 watching movies till Jaque-oh gets off work.

Man, we came home earlier than usual last night and I still woke up wearing my boots. I have a bad habit of that. I come home so tired that I just go to sleep in my clothes.

It’s been a fun weekend. If you consider a weekend starting on Wednesday. Skip Thursday, and Friday was a fun night at home with Jaque-oh, Legion and movies (George told me I could reschedule with him to hang out and now he is pissed about it. I love the new Charlie’s Angels), Saturday was wild clubbing with a bag full of kink, after seeing League of Extraordinairy Gentlemen (Pete Townsend was exploding my panties, and the movie was pretty, but lacked a lot…very comic book, just like it was based on).

Yesterday I was exhausted. Jaque-oh and I slept all day, went to dinner, went out clubbing, I fell asleep with Leo at the club, and woke to tell Jaque-Oh I just needed to be home.

I got up for a session, back to sleep, woke to Jaque-oh cooking breakfast. About to go do more domestic stuff with jaque-oh, have another session, while she heads to work, and then catch up with her there.

Jaque-oh said she was trying to beat me to cooking breakfast for once. It’s nice having someone artound. Usually I like living alone, but since Alien died, I hadn’t wanted to be alone.