My sleep issues are getting rediculous.
Atleast a friend of mine I hadn’t seen in a while came over and watched movies and gave me a kick ass back rub. Now he’s passed out and I am bored out of my wits, and it only drives me nuts to lie down. These stress knots are still there despite his skills at massage.
Jacque passed out almost immediately.

And on another note…that session before I went out last night was great except for one little hang up…he seemed to think that he was entitled to grab at boobs and other anatomy! This got a hardy slap, which unfortunately was probably his passive aggressive objective. After the session he said “You mean I really can’t play with your boobs? Why?” Well between Mistress and submissive whats Mistress’s is Mistress’s, and what’s the submissive’s is the Mistress’s. A sub isn’t to even touch themself unless the Mistress has expressed it as acceptable! Until the interlude is concluded, or the collared relationship is dropped the sub’s not to aim for sexual gratification of the slightest matter with out the dominant’s approval. The dominant isn’t just in control of the pain the sub feels, but also the pleasure.

That can even go further, into teasing and denying, or even further into forced climax, where after you drive the person stark raving mad by continuing to force them to go past orgasm when they are too sensitive.

I made a little game I used to play of stop and go, where I would make the subby masturbate till I said stop, then go, then stop, and sometimes I would let them get real close, then stop. Then I would stop-go really frequent, followed by long periods of go or stop. By the end the subby would be so teased that he would try to cum and he couldn’t and he’d get blue balls. ha ha ha!!!!

Some of my favorite games are ones where the subby gets stuck in a loop, in masturbation, or in singing childrens’ songs to their torture over and over for 2 hours so it is firmly brainwashed in. Then all day they can’t think with out hearing the song in their head, which then brings up all the attatched memories of the scene and the Mistress, and the mind fools them into feeling some of the lingering sensation, or cringing at the thought of the cruelties, or even provokes erections from the things they enjoyed most from the scene.

“empty” now tries to say he can’t sing…but those that don’t sing when I tell them get suffering…sing, keep me happy or your balls will fry! He never looks at Cookie Monster the same now! ha ha ha.

Another game I used to play years ago was “confessional” where I heard all their sins, especially chauvanism and infidelity and I dished out punishment accordingly. And often it was them telling me in almost a mantra through their torture, “I’m a pussy! I’m a dog! I am a filthy pig!”. I felt I was dealing out the punishment for the women they disrespected, and in a way redeaming them, and hopefully making them feel like filthy little creepy cowards for treating women that way and then telling me as a woman that they worship me. How can you treat women as a whole like meat slabs to hump, and then tell your Mistress that you worship women?

There were so many games I have made up to amuse myself with the submissives in the last decade. Like blind folding the subbies, and having a room full of mistresses flog and shuffle about and see if they could figure out who’s blow was mine and how many consecutive blows were from whom?

There was always a game I loved called “chicken pussy”. I would shove ice up their butt, make them cluck like a chicken , singing”chicken pussy, chicken pussy cluck cluck , one…” counting of each ice cube as they tried to lay them one by one like eggs. They were punished if they got more than one out at a time.

God, the things submissives have done to give me stuff to laugh about for years to come…I love it. It’s funny that when I talk to some people they ask, “How do you keep from laughing?”. I laugh, I laugh all I want. This porno tape BDSM Mistress stereotype is so stupid…the expressionless face, the pout and scowl. Blah! If you are a sadist you derive pleasure from the physical torment and humiliation suffered in your honor! And if you truelly are a sadist then you often find times where you are so pleased that you laugh and smile at their trials of devotion!

Oh, I do have a bizarre and wonderful life… So much has happened in the first 30 years, I can’t imagine what more I will encounter in the next 30. It boggles my mind.

I was just stung twice by a wasp at a photo shoot.

I reached down to the back of my knee when I felt the first sting, then it caught me between the fingers. Lucky I’m not allergic. It hurts like when they messed up my IV when I was in the hospital for a miscarriage. Bastards.

These pics were shot for a gallery event called “Industrial Strength”. Charlotte Diem shot us in an old lumber factory.

I had to rush home for a session in a few minutes…then, duh duh duh…on to the club for 1984!

So much to do, so much to do.

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Sadistic pleasure

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first seduce a rich and powerful ceo. This will cause the world to whisper among themselves, overwhelmed by your arrival. Who is this sadistic fiend? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a corporate suit?

Stage Two
Next, you must seize control of New York. This will all be done from a abandoned church, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of corporate suits hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must covertly move your great supernatural forces, bringing about the destruction of the masses. Your name shall become synonymous with blood, and no man will ever again dare point and laugh. Everyone will bow before your unmatched physical prowess, and the world will have no choice but to make you their new god.

sent me this pic from modeling for Transmuter boots!!!
I love it

Transmuters!! you are the one in the latest and
most expensive outfits on goth night, and
dammit, youll never be caught in the same thing
twice! if its got panels and rubber spikes, you
got it.

It looks like my itenararie has me firmly in New Orleans for the weekend. I will be trying to hop a flight last minute, hopefully before the following weekend.

I have so much to do in Houston, as well as here. Jacque will be here for this Houston trip, but she will be with me and performing with Lara Paine and myself in Houston for Fetish Fest.

This will be September 20th. I will be posting more info and links and all on my site as they come in from Martin. This is a major event. There will be special hotel rates for travelers to the event. The club that it will be at is normally Houston’s largest Cabaret, but will be rented out exclusively for this event. Last year they brought me in for the event when it was at Hyperia.

They already expect a large attendance from Dallas scenesters.

I can’t wait.

God, how I wish I could somehow split into two and do all the work I need to do, and then regroup when duplicit existance wasn’t practical, or when I want to have fun.

So much to do. I think I thrive on stress, and have pleasure from nagging abaout how much crap I must get done.

I have tons of shit to do on the business front. I have to clean, take photos of Jacque, work on articles, research stuff, and a ton of other crap. I am going to stay home and be good.

I am making center cut pork chops with broccoli and brussel sprouts. Yumm.
Jacque is still asleep.

I couldn’t sleep last night so it screwed up my day today. I need to get back on the Carbomazopine so I can sleep at night.

I need to be able to sleep, it is driving me crazy.

I had weird dreams all night about people that escape from prison trying to use me to hide from the cops, and I didn’t want anything to do with them, but had no choice. They would turn into different objects and you would have to search the objects for faces, and some of them would go invisible.

I finally fall asleep at 6:30 in the morning and at 9:30 the Electrician arrives. Urg.

I have so much to do today, including the raincheck on the photo shoot from yesterday, personal slave time, and sessions. Same schedule as yesterday.

I don’t have to go out tonight, but I was planning on it. I may just stay in after all.