My sleep schedule is screwed again…that usually happens after not sleeping and trying to finish projects. I have a last few preparations for tomorrow night.

In about an hour I get to go to Jaque Imo’s for dinner then back home.

I still need to go pick up some party favors for tomorrow night from my friend’s sex shop on Bourbon Street. I get a little discount which always helps.

I can’t wait for the party…since I broke my collar bone I hadn’t held any of my parties.

Easter Weekend we are going to do a Caster Plaster Party…we will make casts of all the guy’s cocks and make dildo’s from it, and after that we can fuck the slaves with their own cock so they know how it feels to fuck themselves.

Mistress Pink and Domina Shannon are coming in from out of town for this event.

So many play parties I have been to lack any entertainment. I usually show a fetish/bdsm movie at mine, and am trying to get more in the practice of BDSM party games. Nan and I also have aggreed that there should be healthy snacks and refreshments, rather than the “fast food buffet” seen at many of the local dungeon parties.

The rearrangement of the whole dungeon is almost finished, then I have to power clean the glitter and cat hair, and dust the cieling fans. I find house cleaning to be theraputic sometimes…my grand mother taught me that. She always told me “Only stupid people are bored, because smart people can figure out something productive to do.”. This attitude doesn’t seem to be favored in New Orleans.

My great grand mother supposedly taught my grandmother that you should only sleep when your body forces you to, because there is too much stuff to do to sleep everyday like most people do. My grand mother didn’t like this theory of her mother’s…but these things are a great example of the upbringing I had.

My mother is one of those people who makes lists of everythign to be accomplished…I got that from her. I am one woman in a long line of aggressive, determined, strong and dominant women. The rest of them would not be able to understand my lifestyle as a Domme, but it is the nature and nurture they passed down to me that seems to be at the core.

I may have gone to bed after dawn because I have been putting this house back together in a more balanced method of ergonomics, but I still managed to not sleep the whole day away. I was up slightly before 1p.m.

I had the usual breaks in my sleep due to the calls for appointments that wake me. The first calls were jarring me awake right after I first fell asleep, not even 8 a.m.

Well, it is back to my list of tasks to ready my home and dungeon for a play party.

I need to get more spray bottles. I want to have 3 bottles in each dungeon. One for hospital disinfectant, one for bleach water, and one for isopropal alcohol. I have one set of such sprays for the entire house, but in party situations it would be better to not have to retrieve them from other rooms. I have one deluxe first aid kit, but want to get one of those for each room. I am down to my last 4 boxes of latex gloves, and need to restock so each room will have it’s own box. And I think that I should get each room it’s own paper towel rack and roll of paper towels.

I have been collecting so many extra floggers and paddles so that each room can have a certain basic set of such impliments, and then the specialty floggers and devices will be the only items I have to retrieve from other rooms while playing. This is the inconvience of having 6 rooms, 1200 square feet of play space. You have to stop what your doing and get things that have suddenly come to mind while playing.

Other items I need multiples of for different rooms are hoists for my 6 areas of suspension, several more caddies of small items (like play piercing needles, sharps containers, clothes pins, other clips, locks with keys, double snaps, chain, rope, rubber bands, tongue depressers, fishing weights, and much more). I need to get more paramedic scissors and make a safety station in each dungeon with it’s own pair and other emergency supplies.

With the other people I have renting my dungeon, like Mistress Lucia Kat, Master Micah, and Mistress Natasha from Colette, I find that it is best to overstock and have these stations so they never have to look for something I have moved.

Another thing I have been working on is the lack of chairs. I have tons of dungeon furniture, but am stocking up on stackable plastic chairs so I can seat everyone who attends one of my parties.

It is no wonder that I am always broke. It takes disgusting amounts of money to do things right, and I don’t believe in doing things half assed.

Last week I had spent all week preparing for Sunday’s show/my birthday show.

This week I have to spend this week losing sleep preparing to start back to my monthly play parties. This month the party is a combined effort of my dungeon and hosting Club FEM’s play party. Mistress Nan and I met for lunch and to discuss the plans.

I feel that the way I had the house arranged for the last couple of months left 2 rooms feeling less hospitable, and for a play party I feel the need to make each room more comfortable so all the rooms feel welcoming to play in, and every one doesn’t gravitate and crowd in to the other rooms to play.

I have 6 rooms, and all are packed with equipment and dungeon furniture, but recently 2 of the rooms felt really bleak and poorly arranged. So as usual I create so much work for myself and then am over whelmed by the amount of things I have invented that must be completed. This is a compulsion I seem to have no interest in breaking, even though I bitch about it all the time. I must secretly get obscene amounts of pleasure from the stress my projects put me under; that or I just get pleasure from bitching.

Well, I took the last 12 hours as a small vacation. My stress load was so intense from the whole week of mardi gras and the last 3 days that I had a strange experience last night while trying to sleep. I went into a meditative state that resembled sleep and began to halucinate that I was going to these different parties. I hadn’t had a drink…I was stone cold sober. I was really in bed at my XBF’s house, and he says that anytime he slightly moved I would open my eyes and having all these conversations with him. In my mind he was at all these parties with me and when he would move I would be almost awake and crossing wires between my subconcious and the real world in which I lay in bed.

This is a definite sign that if I didn’t take last evening away from my computer and work-aholic lifestyle immediately I would have probably given myself an anxiety attack today.

Then today I was really naughty. I went to Harrah’s Casino. I was about to leave the casino with a $10 loss on slots, but on my way out I saw something I couldn’t resist! UNIVERSAL MONSTERS PENNY SLOT MACHINE!!!! I played myself into the poor house in less than 30 minutes. They found my trigger…monsters! My panties were practically ruined by watching the Bride of Frankenstien pop up over and over again.

I determined the only slot machine that would truly take all my will power and reasoning away completely would be one where certain patterns would result in a short animation of “Areala the Warrior Nun” and the “Bride of Frankenstien” in a cat fight till both were naked except for cool pasties on their nipples and sexy patent leather boots. “The Bride” would have her hair still in tact and the Warrior Nun” would have her habit. And it would be even better if another pattern would cause animation of hot lesbian porn between “Areala the Warrior Nun” and The Bride! Oh what a wonderful world it would be. Two of my favorite fantasy women together at last…sucking every hard earned cent from me via slot machine.

Maybe they should make X-rated slot machines such as this and put them in adult video stores…that would be a briliant business idea. Imagine combining the addiction to pornographic animation and the addiction to gambling into one product! Oh, all the ideas that I come up with that I could never afford to bring into being.

I need a vacation but I don’t know how to take a break from working. I can easily not book a session, but I can’t seem to relax and detatch from my work.

I went to the doctor a while back for a check up, and my doctor expressed concern that I might have aheart attack at an early age due to my body type and obsessive driven nature.

I have always found hard work to be comforting. When I have nothing left to do I invent more work for myself.

Idle hands are the devil’s play thing.

Mistress Lucia thought that she would be able to work around the rude calls and keep her cool, just as I did when I moved here, and with in the first two months she realized that New Orleans is completely differnt than Texas. I thought that the local Mistresses were rude and short tempered whenI moved here, but like Lucia, I also reaalized that the locals can be very trying on your very last nerve.

Despite being a work-aholic I find that the calls I recieve in New Orleans leave me crabby, and I have to struggle to get my head space for sessions. In Houston, I rarely ever experienced a “no-show”, the submissives were punctual and the inquiring calls never were the disrespectful people I have encountered in the professional scene of New Orleans. I can’t remember a Houston phone call more often than once monthly where I had to explain that I wasn’t an escort and I didn’t do body rubs.

When I moved here I didn’t understand the short temper of Mistresses I rented from when witnessing thier phone ettiquette. I have since learned that New Orleans “submissives” are made up of 80 to 90 percent bad apples. By the time a respectful submissive calls they find that the rude callers before them have ruined the mistresses mood for those that are polite.

I miss my slaves I had in Houston. I have a quite a few cherished slaves in New Orleans, but after being called all day by rude men who are looking for escorts I find that it can be difficult to reach the headspace easily so I can play with my personal slaves.

I am looking for a new method to regain the patience when dealing with assholes, and a new trigger for headspace so my poor slaves and regular clients don’t suffer for the effects of assholes on my mood.

Every Mistress experiences burn out periodically. Does any one have a method they use to get around such moods?

It is really agonizing when one of your greatest passions becomes a labor. I want to be back to normal, and enjoy my sessions and slaves to the full effect I once felt. I want to bring the most of myself into sessions for both me and my slaves. Maybe I should start to withdrawl my ad from publications since this is where most of the bad apples find me.

So, after venting this on livejournal I have only 15 minutes to prepare my headspace for a session. This slave is one of those who deserves my full capacities and passions for BDSM.

Why do men seem to have such trouble with punctuality, following instructions, and understanding the simplest concepts?

You tell a man to turn on the lights and they give you a confused look and start messing with the knobs on the stove. You tell a man to get on the freeway and they drive under the over pass and to the next street light. Are there such things as male to female professional translators? They seem to not understand a word you say, and stare at your tits till you are forced to yell and slap them upside the head!

Poor Amrita couldn’t go places with out men trying to give her indecent proposals, and they wouldn’t accept “no” for an answer with out getting irrate. And I had trouble trying to keep the hands in the crowds in the street from trying to find my nipples through my clothes.

With all the evidence of the intellect of the human male it is a miracle that any woman still has any heterosexual instincts towards reproduction.

I have to get this house back to normal. Batty, Kelly and Christian just hopped in the car to return to Houston, and Amrita is on to New York in the morning for her slaves there. She has her touring schedule to get back to and her filming in Tokyo.

I have to get back to my world. Sessions, dungeon rentals, costume designing, performance planning, performing, writing my articles and my planning of this new business venture I plan to start in my spare time. I wonder what sparetime that is but I will have a little here and there.

This Mardi Gras was so dead. The streets looked like just a typical Saturday night in the quarter.

I haven’t watched the news, but I swore I heard a second shooting this Mardi Gras. The shooting during the parade was during an altercation between teenagers, and a bystander was accidentally shot.

It was great having company here that never had seen Mardi Gras, because it made it more interesting for me. I usually avoid Mardi Gras.

I am so ready to get back to normal and on with trying to travel and perform. I think with the way New Orleans has been going that I need a break from the city. With the Mardi Gras decline, and closing of the best local bars and venues, and the people I know that have moved away it just feels like this town is dying.

Last night the first of the show had such a rocky energy for the performers since we were rushed in one hour to get on stage, and the hesitations and stand ups caused by the parades, but by the end of the show we were up to full power, and then came Amrita. Everyone was blown away. And Craig was the biggest bondage slut and attention whore.

So after the show we went to the quarter for the first hours of my birthday. Batty and Kelly caught up with us on Decatur.
We all were exhausted quickly and went back home and straight to bed.

Today, I got to wake up to all the phone calls, and then got to play with Anna, because she cancelled her flight home to San Fransisco. Amrita and I had her tied, electrified and all sorts of teasing and tenderness. And tonight, after sushi I got to learn some rope suspension techniques from Amrita and practice them on “empty”, and help her learn surface play piercing.

That is one of the wonderful things about being around others in the scene, you can teach each other. Especially when you come from 2 different cultures, and each culture has distinct differences in BDSM.

I am crossing my fingers about tonight.

I hope people really overcome the obstacles and attend the show. If they do, it is one step closer to seeing that they should house, if not sponsor or throw a decent fetish event in New Orleans.

So many things are not in our favor. There are parades happening right next to the club venue, so it is difficult to park, and even the performers have to walk a few blocks to get there with their bags and arround parades. It is an early show, and double booked so we don’t get to take up the whole evening with our show and special guests. That sucks.

And another thing that can hurt the turn out tonight…One person has been in a very public drama and may have people detered by such things. And another is the lovely rumors and gossip set forth in the BDSM by a person who has never even met me. And the people that are rude on-line and try to hurt a good show because of their personal issues, or friends personal issues with someone in the ranks of show production.

Hopefully these people that are so easily detered by petty crap will see the big picture…New Orleans has no fetish clubs, no major fetish events that are advertised to those out side of the scene and tourists, no scene or fetish events that get us recognition in magazines like Skin Two or Marquee or even American fetish and domination magazines like Taboo, DDI, American Dommes, or even the lesser magazines like Nugget. We have no stores that realize that there is latex that doesn’t come in a box and rip when you try to unfold it the first time. This town has hardly any fetish clothing available except cheap vinyl, or Lip-Service, and in the whole city only one store sells Stormy Leather Corsets, and they have only one style and it is only in black. They also don’t realize that the average woman or girl in the BDSM or Goth scene that would possibly buy such outfits are larger than a 6 or 9, and that even though some are 6 and 9 in the lower body, cheap clothes-including Lip-Service doesn’t make room for breast!

We are a port city, with a heavy tourist population. We have tons of money spent by them and they like anything that makes them feel wild, kinky or involves voyeurism of other people’s sexual tastes.

We have the foundation for a decent fetish scene, and we have a town that is 24/7 unlike most cities that hold major fetish events.

We don’t have the population of London and New York, but once you actually build up your events over time to the size and quality of Torture Garden and other such events you aren’t relying on the locals…people come from all over.

It takes time, it takes little things happening first. It takes things like having fetish celebrities and burlesque artists having places that will pay them to come in and do a show. It takes a venue having confidence that your first events will have enough draw to make a decent profit over the expenses of the show.

If people don’t discard their differences and just enjoy a show and support their community then it hurts us all. Not only the people you want to not support, but it makes it where a club owner thinks that doing such a show would put him at loss.

By showing up to such events our true numbers are counted, which allows for more performers and shows that we don’t have, and larger events to slowly start happening here.

Your attendance, your cover, you are what makes a successful scene.

I or any other person can bring such performers here, but there has to be $$$ to make it happen, and money comes from attendance. We could bring them to empty rooms over people’s laziness and idle gossip and eventually a club will drop support of the night, or event, or show. Soon, yet again we would have no one coming here.

I hope that people really realize that there hasn’t been any fetish event (unless gay) with an internationally reknowned performer, even if it were just a modest weekly show of 4 girls in any rememberable point of New Orleans’ existance. And there won’t ever be if support isn’t given to those who bring it to you. Love or hate or believe what ever you want about who ever…but atleast respect that these people are the type that try to make this town have something cool other than sitting in a bar on Decatur the same as you did last week.

Really, a lot of the negativity I get is more from the fact of how much I am out there doing. It makes people credit me as being concieted but I’m not. I just figure why bitch and do nothing like the rest of this town, when I can struggle to make it better. That type of aggressive persistance isn’t always popular. Screw populararity if it gets in the way of me and what I want.

I don’t care if you like me so much as respect the effort to change this town, and give the support to make my efforts effective.

W