One of the most difficult things about being a dominatrix almost 30 years and trying to be aware of toxic tropes and being emotionally and mentally healthy and responsible is that it is in direct conflict with the stereotypes that some hang their whole fantasies on.

One of the skills a good dominatrix has to master is how to bring that illusion of toxicity to the table for those subs that NEED it, turn it on and off at exactly the right times and in the exact right levels and administer the appropriate after care to insure that you’re riding that line between psychodramatic roleplay of toxic tropes and not crossing over it into damage and abuse.

Even more so, a dominatrix’s goal is to help that sub reach a height of intense subspace that sit right at that line… the more you succeed in hitting that high, the more that line can expand outward and move. You have to keep renegotiating and giving more space for input to determine if the sub will need to go further to keep getting that intense, cathartic high.

The responsibility isn’t just to their safety, but in some cases it’s to the thrilling illusion of danger.
It’s complicated. It can be in constant flux.

It requires a lot of self restraint if you want to not exhaust them from hitting extremely high subspace to the point they have to space play out too far, as well.

Then there’s discerning IF communication between appointments is appropriate, how much is or isn’t appropriate and if not really into keeping intouch between sessions you have to figure out how to keep that connection without compromising your discomfort with chatting too much between.

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