I performed in Pensacola last night with Immaculate Deception. They are actually a really good band. This is the 3rd time I have performed with them, but only the second time I performed to them. I stayed at Mike and Missy’s house. They are the sweetest. I model for Missy’s art events when she does fetish and pin-up art.

I did an incasing on Spooky. I had her in rope bondage to a stool, and started to cut the encasings till I had here down to her underwear. She started out as looking like a purple glitter spider man, and then she slowly was teased with the scissors between floggings and hot wax till I had her looking like she had never been in the encasement. I fell so intime to the music. It’s like when I flog I am almost in meditation. I just fall into one rhythm for my breathing, the music and the flogging. By the end I was shredding and ripping her open.

I actually saw a guy I went on a few dates with. He actually wasn’t acting all wierd about hanging out and talking. I sat and chatted with him, and a few other people. All the people were really nice. A few had come specifically because we were doing a live fetish piece and they don’t get that type of stuff around there. And one person told me they had been waiting all week for me to come and perform.

Well, I am back at home, and about to get back to all the updates on the website. I am adding a lot of galleries and pics.

Now that the collar bone is pretty much fully healed I am back to starting to corset train again.

I have a new pink satin corset I got right after the bone broke and I have been wearing it for long durations the past 2 days. It is a 24 like my black satin Voller, but it isn’t broken in yet.

Corsets make you feel like a super hero. They feel so inpenetrable. You stand so tall, and feel just like a Tex Avery girl when you put your hands on your waste.

People always ask if it hurts or if I can breathe. I wouldn’t call it hurting unless the corset is on too tight or if the corset is poorly design or old. You simply can cannot settle on those things that Fredericks and Victoria’s Secret like to call corsets.

Where does the week go. Tomorrow is rehearsal day for the Lil Beaux Peep Show. I am off to Pensacola for Friday to perform. I was just mailed an article about the show. Their was a blurb about me performing with Immaculate Deception. They are really sweet. the band is a friend of mine and his son.

I am so tired. I just woke from one of those naps that makes you feel like you slept through 2 days, even though it was only 3 hours. Very disorienting.

Well, today wasn’t really all slacking and email.

Tonight I played with “empty” for the first time since right before Christmas. I had been through broken bones, being sick, being busy, and being just plum in a bad mood about all the stuff I saw happening in the world (I need to quit reading and watching the news again, it gets me pissed) and just all around not in the best of conditions to be in session. It’s easier to turn off these discussions when playing with someone you don’t know, but my slaves and I are friends as well as having a dynamic of me being the one who dictates what we will and won’t do when hanging out, and them serving practical functions in helping me in keeping this house and other domestic responsibilities and helping with the show in ways I deem necessary.

Well tonight I started to resume our play time. Well, he should of known better. You catch me displeased with the world around and I often get rather sadistic if you give me the green light to treat you anyway I please. I had been a softy on him and working with him more through meditation and hypnosis and rhythym applications of flogs and stuff prior to our suspension of playing. Not only was he out of practice from our not playing, he was out of practice since I hadn’t been pushing him to take as much for a few weeks before the break. Well, I tossed him in the deep end.

I had him tied to the new suspension frame. His arms were above his head, and his ankles had a stock board holding them apart. I put him in some predicament bondage. His nipples were tied to the opposite side of the suspension frame and the same teather was connected to his cock. I tied the loop around his cock further down to the stock board.

The wonderful thing about male genitalia is it tries to seek the warmth of the body. When you have a cock and balls tied off and pulled out from the body and then place them in ice water they get very very sore from the cold and try though they might they can not retreat into the body cavity. It came to a point where he said he couldn’t feel the cock and balls. “Oh really? Well then let’s see if that is true!” “Whap”, the leather slapper slapped sharply on his scrotum that was tight and shriveled about his balls from the previous cold. Then the quick repitition of light slaps. To a man’s genitalia nothing is considered light…there is just varying degrees of hell.

When he jupmed back in responce to the progression of slaps on his sack, no matter how light they were he would pull at his already taunt nipples.

Of course I treated him to his favorite area of play…flogging

I must say, we women are so lucky. I know that when I slap my crotch hard it actually is pleasant. It is a sharp sting followed by a nice vibration of the pain subsiding. If you put ice on a woman’s crotch it may be shockingly cold but it is in no way like freezing a man’s restrained testicles.

We may have PMS, menstral pain, and the pain of pregnancy and giving birth, but there is only a window of 40 years we have to endure all that, then comes post menopause. Men will have pain in their testicles when hit for as long as they have feeling at all, birth to death…ha ha!

Also, most men have such issues about vasectomies. Women don’t feel themself to be less of a woman by choosing to get a tubal ligation. Women get them all the time when they feel that it is the best birth control for them. Both procedures don’t prevent testosterone or estrogen from being produced.

Tons of girls get genital piercings, and then you watch a vast majority of guys scared of anything happening to their precious cock (though that doesn’t prevent some of the vary same people from having unprotected sex, even in extremely high risk situations).

Boys are silly. Girls rock.
(Given, I couldn’t handle my first pull when pierced with hooks and made to balance in platform heels on a small top to a box, but I think if I was relaxed and on stable ground I would be a bit different).

Ugh, today I was lazy and slept in at his house, then I came home and worked on all my email, and discussions I am in volved in. All of the earnings from working yesterday have already been sent out to pay bills.

I am about to retire to work on some of the costumes I have in progress for the show. It is friggin expensive. One half assed package of 3 yards of beaded fringe cost $10 plus tax, and it has taken more than that to do this one bra. The bra alone didn’t cost but $10 with the panties. I can’t find a place that sells in bulk. I mean i am using this for a ton of different stuff, and if all the girls in the burlesque show bought in bulk and shared with each other we would have tons of variety in decorating items for less. I have proposed doing a craft box, and a craft night where we all have a little get together discuss I deas for the show and work on decorating costumes and working on props together.

We went and picked up 2 huge pink hotel curtains at a store that sells stuff that was used in hotels for cheap and donated them to the show. Now we can replace the screens that went with one of the girls that recently left the show. I also pointed out that the same curtains would fit the boudoir theme of the set that occupies the stage most of the show if used to replace the back drop that we had when that performer left the group. These curtains cost a lot less than the cost of the fabric alone, with each one costing $20 for 9 feet wide and 7 feet long.

Well, we only pull in between nothing and $20 per girl after tipping the prop guys so this performing stuff is only for fun and for the chance to be seen regularly. I was raised in the theater, so all I ever was tought day in and day out was being on stage. It didn’t matter whether I danced, sang or acted, as long as I was constantly rehearsing and performing. I love it.

We don’t get our investments in props re-embersed to us…we donate such things because if the show looks bad we look bad. Some of us are in the company because we want to be fetish performers at major fetish events, and no better way than performing as often as possible, and others actually aspire to be burlesque artists. I want to do the fetish performances, but when I am doing burlesque I want to do my very best at it. I have started looking into actually studying the masters of the art and the costumes. I don’t like to do anything half assed.

Ah, this day has been one long day of rants, aside from my 3 hours of various sessions.

It was a good day otherwise. I just hate that we all can’t live our life happily without some person dictating what everyone can do with their bodies. I can’t stand living in a country where it is plainly obvious that the current president did something fishy to win the election, after the other guy had already been declared victor.

I wish all of us were free to feel okay for who we are and our quarky fetishes, and our unusual simple pleasures. Why should we have to be ashamed of enjoying something consensually, or even solo.

Who is harmed by a person who likes to transgender..yet people still feel that it is somehow something to be hidden, or something wrong to not be done all together.

Who is to say another person shouldn’t fall in love and be given the same rights as other people just because they fell in love with a person of the same sex? They are lucky to feel that way at all, so why care what sex they are!

Why is it that the country gets thrown out of wack by a single glimpse of a woman’s breast, as if most children have an attention span to watch the super bowl, and hadn’t seen them already? Other children are raised on nude beaches, and watching partial nudity on commercials.

Why is it our constitution and bill of rights guarantee us Freedom of religion, but I haven’t seen one issue on the news lately where God wasn’t brought into the debate. Every Presidential Address starts sounding like the 700 Club.

Why is it we seek to oppress people with our laws, when originally this country was formed by people who longed to free themselves from oppression?

Why do we have sensorship on simple words, which only further makes children want to say them? Have you heard school kids speak to each other? They already know worse language than some of the adults.

What happened to trying to just do you best, be your best, and have pride in yourself with out forcing others to live by your system of beliefs…that doesn’t follow the teaching in the bible.

No one told them that if gay marriage were legal they would be required to marry the same sex, it is a choice.

No one told them that if they heard offensive language that they couldn’t change the chanel.

No one told them that when abortion became legal that they had to have one too…that is a choice.

How come the people that want to leave the rest of the country with a choice, even when it is lesbians fighting for abortions and people that never anticipate needing a gay marriage fighting for gay people’s right to marry, are made out to be the bad guys. The religious right would have you believe that we are destroying the American way of life, when in fact this country was raised on a revolution from oppression. This country’s foundation was being fed up and fighting to free us from our British roots. Now look at us. The British have breast shown on television all the time.

Look at those lovely socialist countries where everybody has a chance at college, not a country where a decent education in some cities, especially New Orleans is only for the rich.

Some of the biggest criminals are the ones making laws they don’t even live by. Some of the worst violence is commited by those that are supposed to keep us safe. This country is in denial about it’s true state of affairs.

I just am so tired of all of it. I wish I could just pick up and leave, but it is hard enough in this city to live here, much less leave here. Much less the whole riga-morole of leaving the country.

I am shocked that Bush hasn’t had an assasination attempt. I think 9/11 saved his career. People see him as being strong after that and gave him far too much credit. It wasn’t strength, it was part of his job description!!!

Lately, I find myself more and more disgusted with this country.
“empty” called me about the half time event with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. I told him that he needed to get a life for even calling me about such rubbish. If this was Europe we would see more than that on everyday commercials, and if it were Japan we would see a hell of a lot more…so much for the land of the Free.

As you know, we suckle our mothers breast as babies, yet up until we turn 18 we aren’t legal to view a magazine in the media or in a strip club.

I have been very political lately. I am extremely unnerved by all the gay marriage crap, because it is simply a matter of church and state.

I was raised being told that laws are made to protect people. All I see is laws made to line pockets by arresting people for victimless crimes.

Like my views on this country’s policy on “sex workers”. How are they protecting anyone? They should legalize it so that there would be health registration, and so that if a sex worker is raped or assaulted by a client they can report it.

I dearly hope that in the next year Bush and his lackeys are all out of office. They want to talk about this country being founded on Christian beliefs, but most of our founding forefathers were UNITARIANS!!! Yes, the type of Christians that have a lot of gay people in their fellowship. Unitarian clergy are the same ones that married my Buddhist mother to my Jewish stepfather.

I got another bed in the house now. I am still looking at futons so I can ad more sitting space for my parties and sleeping space for my visiting friends. When the next loft and ladder are complete there will be another queen size bed and I will be putting the full up on the other loft.

But this means now there is a queensize bed, a queen size futon and a full size bed. Soon to be 2 queen beds, 2 futons and a full. That is a lot of room for house guests. I might even get two futons, possibly an additional twin size. And don’t forget how comfy the bondage table is to sleep on too.

Batty and Kelly, I am sure you two will be happy. When you come for my Birthday/Mardi Gras you will get to meet Mistress Amrita from Tokyo. She too is staying at my house.

I went to the OffBeat Awards ready to perform, but knowing that I had larigitis which i had informed them when they had called that morning…but just out of obligation I went as if I didn’t, more as a statement that my inability to perform was due to something beyond my control.

I also got to see the new ad. The damned people left the contact info and name out of the ad!!! I am not happy.

I was extremely bored and aggitated. I had half a taco there. I’m from Texas, I guess my standards are higher when it comes to tacos…I threw it away. I searched the rest of the room for something to tempt my palet. I found nothing that met my finicky mood, not food or drink.

I was so aggitated. I walked the floor looking for my X who was my date. It turns out he was moving the car. I called him and told him I wanted to leave, so we took me home and got me out of my costume and then went to his house to fall asleep watching movies.

We watched “Wings of Desire, which I had never seen before. I caught things he didn’t like the record cover being Nick Cave, the Building having a marquis that said Shcmuck, and that one of the people in the library had a copy of the Lexicon on his table which was one of the other movies that the director had made. This was my first time watching this movie. I was very happy when I saw Nick Cave perform at the end, afterall he is a genius and that is who I went to see in concert the weekend I first came to New Orleans and met the X I was still sitting next to and still occasionally dating.

5 years later, five years since I first came to New Orleans to see Bauhaus and the following night see Nick Cave. Five years ago I came for a weekend to New Orleans and knew then what I know now. I knew I would move here. I knew I would have a long inconsistant involvement with this strange little man I talk to several times a day on this phone. For some reason I never really question my future I just feel it happening and know where it is going. I don’t suppose that is normal.