Today is Juan from HTTH’s birthday, and the last day of 2004. Tomorrow marks the first New Year in Hollywood. A whole new year in a whole new city. So much new for Me this year.

Last night I went out to eat with a masochist who is in lots of videos with lots of high pro-file dommes and then went to his house to watch some videos. My roommate is also a masochist in lots of videos for lots of Dommes, and this seems a common thing here, just as common as Dommes in videos. I like that there are harder core maschists here than I experienced in Houston and New Orleans.

Next week or so I am supposed to shoot a Roman shower video for Den of Initquity. I had only seen high quality videos like those by Ilsa Strix and Irene Boss up until now, then I realized last nigth that even though these other movies were produced by well known production companies, they weren’t really edited, the quality is low and the camera work was simple. A lot of them are also just shot in domestic settings.

Sometimes it seems just like one of those days where Murphy’s Law is at your heels. That was how Monday was, and there seemed to be a little residual bad day to the start of yesterday but then it was gone.

I hear that the energy of Los Angeles gets very strange when it rains, because people here aren’t used to it. Then I have had the lovely hormonal contribution of My period to ad to being in a funk, not to mention the lovely anxiety and stress from brain chemistry.

I have this every year in the last couple of weeks of December. Last year it was broken collar bones and the major drama and loss of half of our cast in Lil Beaux Peepshow, then the year before was pnuemonia, and every year these last weeks of the year seem to be loaded with things that are very upsetting emotionally as well as upsetting to the flow of things otherwise.

Well, there is only 2 days left of December and 2004…I am waiting the fresh air and new oppritunities of the new year. Once all this New Years eve and all pass, I can get together on things with Veronica, and focus on that. I can get going on some of the things I have yet to do, like get My California ID, and open My California bank account, and work on the DDI ad now that I am in LA.

A new year full of new goals, new ideas, new acheivements, new friends, new everything.

So, I need to get time in synq with Veronica.

I am actually trying to make sure we get this done properly. Nicolette told Me that there is the LA tax form, and the US Tax ID. Then there is a DBA and a checking account in the company name.

Then we have to tend to the website, and work on the costuming. My costumes are all still in New Orleans.

God, I am kind of aching to do some type of show. it has been since halloween since I have been on the stage.

It is finally kicking in that I don’t have a dungeon of My own right now. I feel absolutely aukward with out a project, or a dungen t run. I have a project but untill things start being discussed in person we can’t really procede.

Okay, so I am the only genetic girl in the picture…
I am a bi-sexual drag queen in a woman’s body, so fuck off.
But I got a double dong compensating for the fact that I don’t have a real cock.

There was a contest, and though I didn’t get the first place, the winner gave Me the big pink double dong that was her prize.

Damn, sometimes I am the epitomy of lady like…what ever.
Blame it on Miss Kitty and her lavishing of drink tickets for the cosmopolitan cause.

Oh oh oh, I just got a call from Angelica who is in from Chicago for Christmas…and then their was Anna who is in Los Angeles from San Fransisco for Christmas…and they are both coming out with us tonight…yeah…more girls…and then there are the grrrls.

This was definitely a very tranny Xmas. I am getting back into crossdressers and trannys. It seems to come and go as one of My kink interests. I think I want to get Me a little sissy slave of My very own to mold into a hot toy for Me and others to play with.

Mistress Veronica stayed over last night, and when she and I woke this morning she got very excited because she saw a tranny neighbor of mine carrying Christmas gifts. She called it “trannyspotting” which she said was kind of like “train spotting”.

It must have been something in the air, because it was a recurring theme to My day.

Next was the phone session I had. The subby who called had seen Me from a far lt weekend at a play party. Now that s/he was preparing for retirement and it wouldn’t conflict with his/her professional life, she wanted to start to join Me soon in real life, and spend our time together letting Me mold him into the woman that is dying to come out.

Then came the evening, after Veronica and I went to various kinky toy stores, got our pedicure and took pictures.

Originally, the plan was to go to a tranny bar in West Hollywood, before we went to spend the rest of the evening at Miss Kitties. Though that plan was thwarted, it still didn’t change the theme of the evening. You see….Mia is a pre-op transexual, and Vena is not a tranny, but a very cute crossdress once the work whistle blows at the end of the day…

I dressed accordingly for a “Very Tranny Xmas” with Vena and Mia. I wore My transmuter boots, a black vinyl skirt, a vinyl corset and My pink “vagina” which has a diagram of the vagina, it parts labeled with the latin names, and “The Vagina” printed across it in great big letters. I figured that being a real girl amongst trannies and cross dressers I would be “The Vagina”. Alternative sex subcultures tend to have good humor about such things.

Kitty’s is never short on crossdressers and tranny’s and on the dance floor I saw Calpernia, who went through a lot of hell and heart ach becoming the hot sexy woman she is today. I had also seen her last night at Perversion but tonight I didn’t get a chance to say “Hi”.

I finally met Gidget Gien and his girlfriend, after several of the friends we have in commn had been constantly talking about him for months, as if I already knew him. I guess he kind of fits in the theme of last night if you concider his icon on Myspace is of an art piece, I assume his own art, dep[icting a woman with a cock.

If you think that the only woes of a transgender person are battling their born gender and hormones to look like the same person on the outside as they know themself to be on the inside…see the movie about PFC Barry Winchell and Calpernia’s star crossed love affair called “Soldoier’s Girl”. It will make you feel a small wee bit of the many difficulties and hardships of being a heterosexual mn in the military who was strong enough to not let his sexual identity prevent him from falling in love with a beautiful woman, as a woman despite the inappropriate genitals. Visit her site at http://www.calpernia.com and support others in the fight for gay rights. It takes great courage for someone to go through what she has, get the operation to fully function as a woman, and then have to face the world not as the woman she is but the pre-op transexual she once was to help others find their way in a world full of homophobia and the additional hardship of transgender life.

Then their was the wrap up of the eovening. The lights came up and the bouncer was very desperate to get out, so everyone did the usual lingering on the side walk…where I took a picture of My “Very Tranny Xmas”.

I swear, there are so many hot pre-op and post-op girls in this town that I am starting to get as into it as I used t be in My past. My fascination with transgender and crossdressing has been present since as far back as I can remember, but it tends to go away for a year or so at a time…until I see sexy T-girls that are flawless, I date a boy who crossdresses, or I adopt a new subby or slave who is dedicated and serious in having Me train them to be a cd-slut or a poised socker mom with a little secret. The last good one was sissy-maid jenifer…

I have even been considering designing a more structured crossdresser training program, I want to get the vocal training and make-up application vides offered by Calpernia and add it to My methods I use for teaching My sissies how to not walk like a man, and to move gracefully even in heels. Sounds like a fun little project, any guinee pigs in the Los Angeles area?

Okay…so seconds ago I said…”Houston doesn’t snow”…now who the hell sucked satan’s cock for a white christmas in Houston?

Well…now that hell has frozen over (actually that would be New Orleans…I miss My hometown, but I don’t want to live there. It just feels like a step backwards.)…I am off to hang out with My crossdressing boy at a Tranny Bar before “she” and I go to Miss Kitty’s Parlour.

Okay, so last night was just a confirmation that the club Perversion is just not My type of thing.
Veronica and I still waited it out till the lights came up because we got there at 1 a.m.

So as usual when Miss Veronica hangs out with Me she crashed over… we fell asleep watching the 80’s version of Litte Shop of Horror… She fell asleep almost immediately.

We woke to one of thse lazy days where both of us weren’t feeling very glamourous…so we ordered som Thai food and decided to go for a pedicure. Being that her boy loves feet, especially dirty feet…we roamed to various alternative clothing and sex shops and she collected enough dingy color on her soles to do our usual run home to play with the digital cameras to get longnail fetish, foot fetish and dirty foot fetish pics for not just her boy but those that share these fetishes on both of our impending members areas.

So, I actually will resist the urge of PMS to dress as a frump (which is what plagued Me on Sunday when Jody Cortez took those horrid pics for Fetish Bar’s website) and dress festive and fabulous to head to Miss Kitty’s with Vena. Vena keeps saying Fang Club…but I am more a Miss Kitty’s type of girl.

I am trying to get back into My habit of carrying a camera…I want to not just have high quality shots in My members section…but also to have a bunch of casual “reality” shots and sharing of the daily ins and outs of perv life as I know it. Even the most beautiful people in the world have those moments where they don’t look so perfect…even the smartest people have momentary lapses of clarity, even the strongest most self confident people have those second thoughts and get the blues… I want to share the duality. The overly responsible work-aholic Alpha female and the bratty spoiled naughty child that ties up the baby-sitter are both Me.

Whooo, I have been substituting one meal a day with a salad…trying to ween Myself off all the garbage I eat. I have been walking no less than a mile a day (when I had more free time when I moved here I was walking 2 hours a day, I miss it.).

I think today I will start replacing a second meal a day with a salad. I feel so much better since I replaced one a day…I usually have a mandarine chicken salad, leaffy greans, just a fiew fried noodles and grilled chicken with ginger seasame dressing…I am surprised how much I like it.

I am trying to get back into My exercises, since I have been stting at the computer a lot. Maybe by new years these positive actions will start to become good habits.

Sitting on the computer, chatting with Lolita between appointments and ordering delivery food, no matter how fun, is catching up with My waiste line…so time to change what I have delivered, exercise a little between appointments and I can still chat and work on-line.

Oh My, I hate those pictures I just found from Sunday on line…I was wearing panties that said kinky on the ass and Veronica was pretending to pump Me from behind…lol. What are friends for.

She said she forgot her phone last night and wanted to call Me before coming over unannounced, but instead she just showed up and I couldn’t hear the door…so I am going to go to Home Depot and buy a doorbel really soon. I got no cuddles and pervy late night chatter with Veronica…pout…but tomorrow she is going with Me and a friend to Perversion.