Due to R. and me constantly talking late into the night and several times a day, every day, I still haven’t gotten back to New Orleans time. He annd I wake at the same time, and go to sleep at the same time, only for him it isn’t nearly 5 in the morning.

I must say he is the most honest, kind and well put together person I have ever met, both inside and out.

I don’t think I’m in love. I am just in awe because just when I start getting negative about the world around me…he really gives me hope that not all of the world is flakey, stupid, diseased, dirty and corrupt…just by being who he is.

I felt as amazed the second I met him at DomCon as I do now.

All my friends in LA that know him constantly keep telling me how amazing he is, which I didn’t even need to be told. In fact some of my closest friends in LA are people that he introduced me to in Las Vegas in May.

To say we are close friends is true but somehow lacking. I am totally phobic of the “boyfriend” word and it seems to imply some monogamous vow that doesn’t exist between us. “Lovers’ sounds so gay. “Fuckbuddies” sounds so more exciting than it is…I don’t even think I want to know what it would be called, so why do I keep trying to peg it?

Damn him for waking me up about an hour ago. I told him a bedtime story just a short bit ago, now he’s a sleep and I can’t sleep. It would be so much easier if my bed weren’t empty.

And now I just keep thinking about those black leather pants and double bullwhips cracking.