Tantra and BDSM
Most of us know what BDSM is or we wouldn’t be here, but fewer people are certain about what Tantra is. Some call it Sex Magick, but tantra is a form or yoga and meditation used in sex.
Many people that practice tantra don’t identify with bdsm. I have read in some books that BDSM is not conducive to Tantra. I think this was written because the vast misconception of what BDSM is and can be. Many people think that BDSM is cruelty and extreme pain. Though it can be, it isn’t always the case.
In the full swing of an extensive session of flogging you will often find that the flogger starts to fall at a relaxed natural rhythm. The dominant’s breath starts to take on a coinciding rhythm, as well as there is a rhythm of moaning and breathing adopted by the submissive. It is this droning repetitive movement that is noticeably like some of the common rocking coital positions by babies putting themselves to sleep and some of the sexual positions of yoga.
This is not the only similarity between Tantra and BDSM.
One of the first recommended exercises when a couple starts to explore tantra is sensory play. As in BDSM there is usually a passive lover and the lover that actively goes about applying these sensations to their partner. Not unlike in BDSM sensory play, it is common to be blind folded in some of these practices.
Getting deeper into some of the most important parts of Tantra that I and many other people have adapted to BDSM scenes is breathing exercises. This is probably the most important part of yoga, hypnosis, meditation, and tantra. I personally think it is one of the most important elements to most of my sessions. Meditation is in fact a practice of opening one’s subconscious, the same as hypnosis is.
Breathing sets the tone for all bodily functions. When your heart is racing and you are panicking you can reset the heartbeat to a slower, more relaxed pace by manipulating breathing.
Breathing correctly is also important for getting oxygen efficiently to every cell of the body. If you have seen the movie Fight Club you might recall a scene on a plane when Ed Norton and Brad Pit are looking at the safety plaques that instruct passengers to breath with their oxygen masks. There is a point made in this scene that the oxygen masks have no real value other than to get the passengers “high” on oxygen and keep them “calm as Hindu cows”.
I usually start sessions with these breathing exercises. I breathe audibly towards my sub and try to get them to breathe in to full lung capacity. Once the lungs are filled there should be a pause before pushing as much air possible out of the body. I have noticed that many people who think they are submitting often aren’t. This is obvious during breathing exercises because the sub is often too tense to really submit.
When breathing exercise have reached their desired effect you will be able to tell by a marked change in the tension of the slave’s body. Even though you have succeeded try to keep the slave breathing this way through the rest of the session.
Like the high the passengers feel from the oxygen masks, submissives also encounter a high…subspace. Breathing exercises help a submissive reach subspace before any actual activity takes place. Often I find that I have to stop breathing with the submissive as much as possible or I too become high and dizzy.
Once you find that you have really connected with your submissive and have then in a nipple clamp or some light torture the next step is to start to find a relaxed rhythm and natural sway and start to trance with the submissive. This sway and connection is also good to use when cooling down a session. It isn’t so dissimilar to the maternal rocking of an infant. If you recall a mother’s rocking as such, you will notice that mothers often do an “Shhhhhhhhh.” When making a long “shhhhh” you are in fact doing almost the same breathing as in the breathing exercise.
The step beyond meditative breathing in Tantra is harder to teach a submissive unless they themselves are knowledgeable on the subject. In tantric sex the lovers channel their orgasms through their body up through each chakra and then back down in a circuit. This practice is done for several reasons. When the energy of orgasm stored in the kundalini is re-directed through the body rather than being released in ejaculation it is believed that the energy is not wasted. The orgasm that has been re-directed up the spine becomes intensified and lengthened.
Though BDSM play often doesn’t end in a genital orgasm it still has it’s own variation of orgasm. Long ago in my past I too submitted to dominants and found that there was indeed a pivotal point of mental and emotional climax.
Some traditional tantric breathing exercises
Prana is thought by many to mean breathe…but in truth it pranayana, the most common name for tantric breathing, means to bring in life. Pranayana is essential for tantra.
There are many specific types of breathing to tantra, but I will go over the ones that I most use and lightly touch upon some others. You may find that you have a variant of such practices that you, yourself use, and never knew it was actually a practice of sex magick.
In the exercise I am about to explain don’t take the timing so very literal. Each person’s body and lungs are different, and when one is focused on counting you are distracted from really allowing yourself to meditate and find your head space.
The 3 exercises I will be focusing on are not dependant on positions, but you should always seek to align postures correctly. Other breathing exercises often center on positions such as lotus position. But I chose these next few techniques to be used in any straightened spine position that allows the submissive to relax.
Bhrahmi breathing is the recommended starting point according to many existing articles and publications on the subject. It’s intent, as is most meditative breathing, is to unify the body and mind, open consciousness and aid in concentration.
The technique:
Take a very deep breath filling the lungs
In exhaling forcibly remove all stale air and tighten the abdomen
This pushing of the abdomen should feel as if you have expelled every last puff of air.
Inhale again, this time breathing so deep and steady that you can hear the air fill the nasum in a slight buzz.
Hold it once your lungs are full, allowing the air to fully be absorbed, much like a person who smokes.
Don’t time this; just be doing as long as you are comfortable inhaling, and gradually work to expand this time. Never force the retention to the point that it upsets your comfort and mental state.
In tantric meditation you also focus not strictly on the function and rhythm of the lungs but on visualizing the energy that comes in and goes out with each breath. In this exercise you will visualize the energy coming into the chakra near your diaphragm, called the Manipura.
In Bhrahmi you will be taking the energy into your solar plexus.
The sound of your breath will help you maintain your breathing in a steady natural rhythm that usually is centered at a pace of seven cycles in approximately a 10 minute time span to start.
Complete Breath or Circle Breathing
This is a very yogic breathing (keep in mind that tantra is a type of yoga).
Though this is a very fundamental breathing technique it is recommended by some sources as a second breathing meditation to master. This technique has been the foundation to several other breathing methods that have been developed.
The Technique
Unlike other breathing techniques this technique is in an equally divided timing of 3 parts.
As in the other methods do not literally count, allow your body to naturally set it’s own meter.
Inhale deeply, drawing in the breath toward the abdomen, opening and expanding it. Next inhale the breath longer and pull it further up ion the respiratory system, into the ribcage and lungs. And finally finish the inhalation in the upper lungs and throat.
Retain this oxygen for a natural few seconds before the exhalation process, being sure to keep your face and body in a relaxed state.
The exhalation should follow slowly releasing the air transverse order from the inhalation. First release air out of throat/chest, then from ribcage/mid lungs, finally draw air out from the abdomen, contracting abdomen, forcing all air out.
As in the last exercise you should progressively lengthen each stage of this exercise as you become more adapted to it. Always keep in mind that it should be natural.
This breathing slows and comforts the nervous system.
PRANA SUKAHA- meaning “joyous life force”
Being one of the easiest and simplest natural breathing meditations to learn, this exercise is to bring in vital energies from your atmosphere. It is rejuvenating.
The Technique:
In this technique you will retain the air in your lungs four times the length of inhalation, and twice that of the exhaling of breath.
Breathe in a natural length; allow this breath to set the timing ratio for the rest of the exercise to follow. Don’t force this length, start somewhat shorter than you feel you are capable of, and progressively lengthen in each cycle to find what length of inhalation is natural for you.
Upon retaining hold four times that of the length of your incoming breath, then exhale steadily half of the length of the retention.
