I was extremely disappointed today to find that our show sunday will be followed by a band. This means that we start early, 9:30 and end by 11:15. That completely sucks. I was hoping to drag the show on longer than usual, bt the venue has a double booking that night! We still will have Mistress Amrita, and I will still be performing with Lil Beaux Peepshow that evening.

I rarely ever read the Howlin’ Wolf discussion board but today I did. There was a post that I am sure was meant to be a compliment, but it really was ultimately an insult.

In someone’s post that was negative in reference to the show as a whole it singled me out in a positive way. I wish that I could accept the compliment that they intended, but to do so would be to insult my fellow cast members and under rate all they do in and for the show.

This person credited me with being the draw of the show, and stated that if it were my show that perhaps I could change the show for the better.

I have been asked why I don’t just go off and do a burlesque show of my own in light of the recent drama on that list and amongst present and former members. I DON’T WANT TO RUN A BURLESQUE SHOW! I love promoting the show, and in turn promoting myself, I love thinking up new and efficient ways to improve props, sets and costumings, but I rather be responsible for me, and do all these other things by choice as a member rather than obligation as the leader.

Now, I love fetish performing, and I would love to have a small troup of fetish performers to book and tour with, and perhaps do burlesque as a hobby on the side of being serious about fetish performing, but I don’t desire to run a burlesque show. Lil Beaux Peepshow allows me to bring soft core fetish scenes into the mainstream by mixing it with Burlesque and theatrical costuming and skits.

I love shedding a little light on BDSM and fetish in the mainstream, and helping to disolve the myths and horrors. I like showing the uninformed that BDSM is often nurturing and playful.

I also feel really uncomfortable with the compliment on that discussion board because I know of someone who reads it that is probably very insulted because it was her dream, her vision and she brought it to Howlin Wolf and now I am getting credit I don’t want or deserve and she is getting none.
I sensed that she was a little angry about something today, and I asked her, “Is something wrong, you seem a little angry.” She denied it.

My self promotion skills and my reputation and following is why I was asked to join the Burlesque company in the first place, but I feel it may be the same reason that eventually it comes to an end. Ugh, I should start working on booking more fetish shows. It appears that in March we will start doing the show only on the last Sunday of the month.

Oh my. I am trying to get all these costumes ready before I retire for rest. I have finished the back ground, costume and wig for Poison Ivy, I have done one leg of the Black Widow. I really don’t have to decorate the new piece I bought for Snow Queen if I don’t have time. I am wondering in the last brief hours before I head to rehearsal if I might find a song for the Snow White number which I decided to call ” How about them apples”. That number and Little Red Ridinghood are both costumed already with the exception of the wolf/grandma’s cap and nose, and the dwarves shoes.

I am hoping that I can find a bit of time to make a back drop for Snow Queen before Sunday night. It will just be a simple white netting with glitter snow flakes . I also have to lug all the costumes and props to the venue through the peak of the parade.

On top of all the stuff still to make before Sunday night, I have to make fly wings for Craig. It is his birthday too. His birthday wish is to be given to Amrita to be used for Shibari.

I just tried on the Poison Ivy costume for the first time. Damn it was hot. I am debating on making a skirt to go with it too. I can’t find the gloves I was going to use for Poison Ivy. I do still have to dye a rope green and put leaves on it for that number.

Very early this morning Craig mixed and burned the cd for my numbers.

I can’t decide if I will do “T&A: Talent and Ambition”. I am also debating on “Diamonds”, “Fever”, a solo version of “Junko the Clown”. I am not in the mood lately for “Babaloo”. I think it would be wise to do “Puss and Boots”. It is a real crowd pleaser so we use it for the finale when it is in the line-up.

I am happy to hear that an aquaintance I know through my XBF and am quite fond of will be trying to go to the show in spite of her recent chemo. Many people survive cancer and hopefully she will be one of them.

I know that several weeks ago they had already started pre-selling the tickets for Sunday, and while in Pensacola a few people told me that they intended to be here for it.

I am just really excited. Especially since this is close to what I was working on with a local club. I already intended to book Lil Beaux Peepshow, and I had another Mistress I was talking to for the fetish ball I was working on. Well, the club owner kept procrastinating so I didn’t have the budget for the Mistress I wanted for that event. I hadn’t yet joined Lil Beaux Peepshow at that point, nor had I met Amrita back then.

When Amrita and I met I still wasn’t with the show yet, and we talked about her staying with me for Mardi Gras. At that point I admired her work I had seen pictures of, but when i realized my birthday, the show, and her visit all coincided, things just seemed to fall into place. It wasn’t my original grand plan, but I am very happy with how things have turned out. Maybe after this show/birthday party/fetish event the club owner will see things more clearly and realize I am not one of the notorious New Orleans flakes he is used to.

All this makes me not only want to get back to Pensacola, it makes me hungry for September to arrive so I can head back to do the Annual Fetish Ball. Hell, why am I thinking about that when I have the fortunate honor of speaking at DomCon, April in LA, and am going to Dressed to Thrill in Vegas in May. I know why…because every year the Dare Ware Annual Fetish Ball is where my close friends and fellow perverts I have known since high school will congregate in fine fetish attire not ever seen in New Orleans.

That is one thing about this town…people are too lazy to dress in their gear unless they are gay. My theory is a lot of people that go out down here are the type that don’t know when they will leave the bar they are in. Some of these people will stay out 3 days or longer since the bars don’t close.

Oh, last night’s dinner was delicious, though I felt hungry after. I loved the tuna, and I think it might have been the first time I had rabbit, which was served with duck and quail.

We had a little fun at a doctor’s office. It was an exercise in humiliation. I asked his doctor if she knew of surgeries or devices that really would lengthen his short penis. This was a game between me and him but his doctor wasn’t aware that it was our prank and she seemed really uncomfortable. I kind of felt it was a role reversal of the common situation where a guy pushes his girlfriend to get a boob job.

Otherwise, I got home after picking up stuff to work on the props and costumes for some new numbers for the party/show on Sunday. Yes, that is right, this Sunday is my Birthday party. When the clock strikes midnight I will be 29.

I spent atleast 7 or 8 hours working on my Poison Ivy costume, and a sheer back drop with leaves and ivy. It turned out so pretty.

Tomorrow I have rehearsal. This is the last short spread of time to get all these numbers together. Ugh, I have so much to do.

I am not ever going to order from Moolight Cafe again. First I order a $10 hamburger. It arrives cold
with none of the toppings that distinguish it from their cheapest burgers and almost an hour after it was ordered. I am told that a replacement would arrive with in 30 minutes. It is an hour and a half later and several promises of 30-45 minutes later it has not arrived. I have a session coming and they still claim that the replacement burger is on it’s way.

This is not the only order I have made from Moonlight Cafe that has gone arye. I have ordered their hummus before only to have it be rancid.

For a town that is supposed to have the best food and restruants I have had the worst dining experiences of my life here. To mention but a few…I have had to re-order the same sandwich 3 times in one evening because it was supposed to come with chicken on it and the cook must have been a vegitarian. This was a shame coming from a restruant that rarely ever does me wrong…Cafe Roma.

I went to Tujaque’s on Decatur in the Quarter. They charged us $75 per person with out drinks, and brought out dried over-boiled brisket, the noodles were obviously sitting on the stove for a long time and excessively swollen, and the crawfish was Chinese crawfish and had freezer burn.

And I don’t even know where to begin with O’Henry’s greasy dishes, and St. Charles Tavern.

I had a super terrible experience at a sushi bar in Pensacola. We went to Hot Rock Sushi and spent $80’s only to have the rice be blech! The rolls were coated in sauces that weren’t complimentary to the taste of the fish at all, and the rolls on the menu were hardly any identifiable type of sushi at all. It was a case of people trying too hard to show off with sauces rather than understanding that a lot of the beauty of sushi is the simplicity, fresh, clean taste and texture, much less the health.

I wasn’t impressed with Marisol’s durring the Food and Wine event one year, but it wasn’t repulsive. It was a special event sponsored by the Vineyards and wine distributors, yet the food came out in spoonful’s for each corse. Literally it was in a spoon, and that was all you got. How cheap can you be when we were paying about $125 per person!

I am forgetting so many restruants I have ordered from in the last 4 years that I have just refused to eat more than the first bite due to it’s putrid flavor, or poor quality. It’s a shame when you spend over $100 on dinner and wish that you had stuck to a 99 cent burger.

On the other hand, some of my best experiences in eating in town have been The Emeril’s restraunts, Uglich’s, Christian’s, Palace Cafe, Gallatoir’s, Reginelli’s, Angelli’s, and of course all the sushi bar’s that I can’t possibly live life with out.

All this just makes me long for tomorrow to hurry up so I can have dinner on the balcony of Palace Cafe on Canal Street, during the parade.

Last night went really well at the show. Ricki Comeaux opened for us. She was really good, and I want to catch her playing at the Buddha belly.

One more show and Lil Beaux Peepshow goes on break for 2 weeks. And that show is my Birthday Bash. Amrita arrives Friday, and the Flying Cat Circus will be doing the show too.

I woke this morning and made it home from the XBF’s house. I climbed back in bed and waited for my session to confirm. The house was cold (I am easily cold) so I spent most of the day trying to find oppritunities to climb back between the covers.

I watched Lost in Translation last night. I kind of liked it. It was very much where two people realize that the least sexual relationship they are conducting is, in fact, the most close and romantic of all their relations. If it were set in America the Paparazzi would have exposed them for infidelity even though they never had sex together. They were both miserable in their marriages. I found myself thinking that 25 years talking to the same person everyday would suck! I am so not meant for marriage and cohabittation. I need my space. I am quite domineering when it comes to cohabittation, and I don’t want to have anyone in my life that much of the day. I cherish my solitude. I may be alone, but I’m not lonely.

My cell phone was broken yesterday. It didn’t send or recieve calls. Now I have a new one, and it is already starting to have problems with the display. We spent all day trailing after that stupid phone. I had to down grade my cool cell phone that broke for a different model, and now I don’t have my cool games or ring tones.

Well, tonight I have a show on the West Bank. Then tomorrow is another show; the usual Sunday with Lil Beaux Peepshow. I am doing 2 new numbers.

Then Tuesday I am going to a Parade dinner on the balcony of Palace Cafe.

I got woken today by my ex-fiance calling from Bum-fuck-No-where Ohio for Valentines. I swear he must be extremely lonely with how many times he has called me lately. He had kept telling me for a while there that he was going to come drag me to Ohio. HELL NO!!! I have never wanted to go there, and I still don’t want to go there. I am just not keen on most of the mid-west. I am more a coastal type of person…East Coast, West Coast and Gulf Coast.

I spent Valentines with the XBF trying to get around a stupid parade to get to Funky Monkey for a few pieces I needed for tonight’s show, and to get home around these parades. The parades completely blocked off my house earlier today.

Christ, My stupid phone was dead all day. I didn’t even realize it. That really screwed my plans.

Oh boy, I have 2 new numbers this week. We went and promoted all over the place today. We had a new girl audition today.

I am tired. I want to crawl back between the covers and rest. It is CSI night, and I believe I will have a session later. I need to get together with Sadie and design some new flyers.

No rest for the wicked. I still have a ton of sewing to do on the Snow Queen costume, and I lost one of my white contacts!!!