I was extremely disappointed today to find that our show sunday will be followed by a band. This means that we start early, 9:30 and end by 11:15. That completely sucks. I was hoping to drag the show on longer than usual, bt the venue has a double booking that night! We still will have Mistress Amrita, and I will still be performing with Lil Beaux Peepshow that evening.

I rarely ever read the Howlin’ Wolf discussion board but today I did. There was a post that I am sure was meant to be a compliment, but it really was ultimately an insult.

In someone’s post that was negative in reference to the show as a whole it singled me out in a positive way. I wish that I could accept the compliment that they intended, but to do so would be to insult my fellow cast members and under rate all they do in and for the show.

This person credited me with being the draw of the show, and stated that if it were my show that perhaps I could change the show for the better.

I have been asked why I don’t just go off and do a burlesque show of my own in light of the recent drama on that list and amongst present and former members. I DON’T WANT TO RUN A BURLESQUE SHOW! I love promoting the show, and in turn promoting myself, I love thinking up new and efficient ways to improve props, sets and costumings, but I rather be responsible for me, and do all these other things by choice as a member rather than obligation as the leader.

Now, I love fetish performing, and I would love to have a small troup of fetish performers to book and tour with, and perhaps do burlesque as a hobby on the side of being serious about fetish performing, but I don’t desire to run a burlesque show. Lil Beaux Peepshow allows me to bring soft core fetish scenes into the mainstream by mixing it with Burlesque and theatrical costuming and skits.

I love shedding a little light on BDSM and fetish in the mainstream, and helping to disolve the myths and horrors. I like showing the uninformed that BDSM is often nurturing and playful.

I also feel really uncomfortable with the compliment on that discussion board because I know of someone who reads it that is probably very insulted because it was her dream, her vision and she brought it to Howlin Wolf and now I am getting credit I don’t want or deserve and she is getting none.
I sensed that she was a little angry about something today, and I asked her, “Is something wrong, you seem a little angry.” She denied it.

My self promotion skills and my reputation and following is why I was asked to join the Burlesque company in the first place, but I feel it may be the same reason that eventually it comes to an end. Ugh, I should start working on booking more fetish shows. It appears that in March we will start doing the show only on the last Sunday of the month.

Oh my. I am trying to get all these costumes ready before I retire for rest. I have finished the back ground, costume and wig for Poison Ivy, I have done one leg of the Black Widow. I really don’t have to decorate the new piece I bought for Snow Queen if I don’t have time. I am wondering in the last brief hours before I head to rehearsal if I might find a song for the Snow White number which I decided to call ” How about them apples”. That number and Little Red Ridinghood are both costumed already with the exception of the wolf/grandma’s cap and nose, and the dwarves shoes.

I am hoping that I can find a bit of time to make a back drop for Snow Queen before Sunday night. It will just be a simple white netting with glitter snow flakes . I also have to lug all the costumes and props to the venue through the peak of the parade.

On top of all the stuff still to make before Sunday night, I have to make fly wings for Craig. It is his birthday too. His birthday wish is to be given to Amrita to be used for Shibari.

I just tried on the Poison Ivy costume for the first time. Damn it was hot. I am debating on making a skirt to go with it too. I can’t find the gloves I was going to use for Poison Ivy. I do still have to dye a rope green and put leaves on it for that number.

Very early this morning Craig mixed and burned the cd for my numbers.

I can’t decide if I will do “T&A: Talent and Ambition”. I am also debating on “Diamonds”, “Fever”, a solo version of “Junko the Clown”. I am not in the mood lately for “Babaloo”. I think it would be wise to do “Puss and Boots”. It is a real crowd pleaser so we use it for the finale when it is in the line-up.

I am happy to hear that an aquaintance I know through my XBF and am quite fond of will be trying to go to the show in spite of her recent chemo. Many people survive cancer and hopefully she will be one of them.

I know that several weeks ago they had already started pre-selling the tickets for Sunday, and while in Pensacola a few people told me that they intended to be here for it.

I am just really excited. Especially since this is close to what I was working on with a local club. I already intended to book Lil Beaux Peepshow, and I had another Mistress I was talking to for the fetish ball I was working on. Well, the club owner kept procrastinating so I didn’t have the budget for the Mistress I wanted for that event. I hadn’t yet joined Lil Beaux Peepshow at that point, nor had I met Amrita back then.

When Amrita and I met I still wasn’t with the show yet, and we talked about her staying with me for Mardi Gras. At that point I admired her work I had seen pictures of, but when i realized my birthday, the show, and her visit all coincided, things just seemed to fall into place. It wasn’t my original grand plan, but I am very happy with how things have turned out. Maybe after this show/birthday party/fetish event the club owner will see things more clearly and realize I am not one of the notorious New Orleans flakes he is used to.

All this makes me not only want to get back to Pensacola, it makes me hungry for September to arrive so I can head back to do the Annual Fetish Ball. Hell, why am I thinking about that when I have the fortunate honor of speaking at DomCon, April in LA, and am going to Dressed to Thrill in Vegas in May. I know why…because every year the Dare Ware Annual Fetish Ball is where my close friends and fellow perverts I have known since high school will congregate in fine fetish attire not ever seen in New Orleans.

That is one thing about this town…people are too lazy to dress in their gear unless they are gay. My theory is a lot of people that go out down here are the type that don’t know when they will leave the bar they are in. Some of these people will stay out 3 days or longer since the bars don’t close.

Oh, last night’s dinner was delicious, though I felt hungry after. I loved the tuna, and I think it might have been the first time I had rabbit, which was served with duck and quail.

We had a little fun at a doctor’s office. It was an exercise in humiliation. I asked his doctor if she knew of surgeries or devices that really would lengthen his short penis. This was a game between me and him but his doctor wasn’t aware that it was our prank and she seemed really uncomfortable. I kind of felt it was a role reversal of the common situation where a guy pushes his girlfriend to get a boob job.

Otherwise, I got home after picking up stuff to work on the props and costumes for some new numbers for the party/show on Sunday. Yes, that is right, this Sunday is my Birthday party. When the clock strikes midnight I will be 29.

I spent atleast 7 or 8 hours working on my Poison Ivy costume, and a sheer back drop with leaves and ivy. It turned out so pretty.

Tomorrow I have rehearsal. This is the last short spread of time to get all these numbers together. Ugh, I have so much to do.