I am a bit stubborn and bullheaded. After exactly a week of having this broken bone I actually did a 2 hour scene with one of my long time medical fetish fans. I figured that it would be great stress relief for me to play, as well as for him. I also don’t use bondage in his sessions, so he was at no risk of having to be supported by me in an emergency removal of resptraints. And I figured, anal probing, electro-torture, enemas and catheters didn’t require strain and heavy lifting. I am glad I did it.

The pain has me even more bitchy than I am known to get.

Plus in my crabby mood I really hurt the feelings of the person I am dating…but how many ways can it be said?”I don’t want a relationship.” I need the assistance right now, and I like the attention, and I have an insatiable ego that loves to be admired regularly (common amongst Femme Dommes, we love worship, praise and service). It is just I am pretty over the whole couples and relationships…an admirer that I date, and keep socially as well is about the extent of contact that i desire.

I have been asked, don’t I want love? I have love. The love of my friends is enough. He asked why I don’t have friends around…I have pushed people away lately, including him (but he doesn’t leave). My closest friend is across the country, and otherwise the friends that aren’t far away have let it be known that if I want to hang out or something I can call. I have chosen to spend my time reading, working, and being a recluse. I could just as easily chose any given night to go out for a period with friends.

I spent a month or two this last year conducting a heavy social life nightly. I am in a different phase right now. When I feel like it I will be a social butterfly again, but the point is that I don’t feel like it.

I feel complete and whole unto myself, so I don’t need to have a co-dependant and clinging identity with a loveer or a group of people. I have an association with Xsite magazine, and my regular intereactions and relationships and friendships with the Lil Beaux Peep Show girls. Otherwise too many people means too much drama. Too much time with a person means too much drama. And my life is nice and low drama at this point. The people who have been causing me stress have been removed…now the only problems I have are this stupid broken collar bone and people that don’t understand that I don’t want to be in a relationship.

I want the heard of that hideous jehovah’s witness that got my broken ass out of bed to answer the door. A little Salome with a little Vlad Dracul…I’d like to have it on a stake with copies of the watch tower to ward off other jehovah’s witnesses. Next on the list is who ever is responsible for broadcast television programming!

Well, In the exciting world of the bedridden, I made it to blockbuster. I also have serveral people coming over with tons of movies. The more I have to entertain me the better.

I will attempt my first outing since I spent the day in the hospital. I switched to a new style of harness that doesn’t hurt as much, and slightly frees up my mobility.

I have had so many people show their support.

“empty” is working on my lofts this week. “sissy slut jenifer” is gone for Christmas with family. “bammy” is off with family. “brc” is talking about driving down.

I have had quite a few calls from out of state inquirers that don’t understand that I am not taking pain medication, I am feeling like hell and don’t care to talk at length.

My lovely mother hasn’t called, even though I left a message…I think I should just forever give-up on her. She doesn’t talk when you have her on the phone anyway. She offers no support even on the lowest emotional level. Not even a corteous “Hello, how are you.”

Christmas, Bah-humbug!

yes, you heard right. I had company over and took a spill off of my 4 foot high bed.

I am typing one handed now. I have to consult with an orthopedic surgeon on whether surgery will be necessary.

Thanks to the wonderfully friends I have in the medical field I was first looked over at home, and then the “ood doctor” took me to the hospital he works in, and the saw to it I got the fastest possible and most thurough care.

So, my trip to Memphis is a no go, and I will have to not take sessions till I get a bit healed, and keep all strenuous movement to a minimum. I expect I will be taking sesion in 3-4 weeks, and I will be back on stage in 4 weeks. When not in sessions or on stage I will have to be in my restraints to heal.

It was cute how Batty ran and put me in a corset as soon as she could…the whole idea is that corsets are basically back braces with curves, and it would keep my posture.

I thank all of those in my life for the great support I am already recieving, and I thank all of those who offer assistance, and their best wishes. I will be dying to swing that flogger and tie that rope by the end of the month.

I actually don’t mind the pain so much, it is the grating sound and feel of their pieces of bone when I move, and the limited use of my left arm. Soon, my doctor friend will apply a patch for the pain, since I requested that I not be prescribed pain pills.

Mistress Genevieve
http://msgenevieve.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mistressgenevievesslaves

Coming down sick. I keep teeterking between ill and well. My sore throat is evil. But I am otherwise feeling alright. Body aches are a constant with all the stress and work I have in a week.

So I wake at 6 a.m., after coming home from doing the show. Batty is knocking on the door. She drove from San Antonio and decided that she needed to go home to Houston via New Orleans.

Later this week I will be modeling clothes for Lucky 13 Clothing in my dungeon with the rest of the Lil Beaux Peep Show.

Man, last night came together beautifully. The new screens, and the back drop, and the Lil Beaux Peep Show Shirts, and the new autographed 8x10s at the merch booth. It looked so good. Things are coming together. It is hard working with no budget, but we love what we do and have a ton of people that believe in what we are doing enough to help in anyway they can. 2004 will be an amazing year for the Lil Beaux Peep Show.

I had totally forgotten Poncho Claus. I didn’t remember about him till I got an email from my old performance company I had been in all my youth in Houston.

For those that aren’t Texicans…Poncho Clause is the Hispanic version of Santa who brings gifts to kids in the Bario..what is the bario, you say? Why it is the prodominantly hispanic innercity community. I really wouldn’t consider it a ghetto though, it is quite a bit more peaceful. It is very colorful with “Dia de Los Muetos” at Halloween, and La Posada at Christmas ( spanish pagent of the first christmas through the streets of town, which I know most of the lyrics and have participated in the pagent many many times) the still play things like stick ball, and sell tamales from a vender, and have the ice cream man. Being that the bario is filled with old school values of good latin catholic up bringing. Families are often known to have tons of kids. Infact my favorite hispanic grandmother, Mrs. Garcia, had 13 kids, and I was a friend of several of her grand children, and she taught my mother to make authentic mexican frijoles (re-friedbeans).

One thing I miss about the Tex-ican christmas is the bums with their tex-mex accents drunk in front of the little asian convient store, singing Wooly Bully, and Christmas carols to keep themselves warm.

It’s funny, I have really hated christmas for years, but this year I have enjoyed bits and pieces of it. I enjoyed the real familyhood of Lil Beaux Peep Show, and having a group of girls that have a common goal and an interest in helping each other achieve it as a team, which I had began to think was an extinct trait in most people, and believed it to be disgaurded for doing things with as little effort and as high a profit possible. I had started to think that no one really cared about doing something from their blood sweat and tears. These girls make me feel a lot better about how I view the majority of humanity.

You can still make enough to support your self and your hobbies with out sacrificing integrity and quality. Lil Beaux Peep Show doesn’t yet, but over time it will build it’s support and all of this hard struggle will not have been in vain.

The day is here. The ham is in the oven. There is a ton of potatoes mashed and ready, The house has been cleaned and somewhat re-arranged.

I have a session in a minute, but a little time to sit and write.

Tomorrow I will be running all over the place since both Saturday and Sunday night I have shows to do.

The Sunset Social Drinking Club will be at the show on Sunday, which means a ton of people who haven’t seen us before. The shirts should be ready. The photos and autographs are being worked on by Sadie Corsettte.

Last night, Mistress Natasha came over to work on costumes, but we ended up painting Sean’s toe nails, doing his make-up, and putting him in a wig and a dress.

This Sunday will be Natasha’s first time with the Lil Beaux Peep Show. I like the Blue Christmas number she is working on.

Tonight, she and many others from our show will be at the party here. I might head to Colette’s Christmas party when my party is over, who knows. One person is even bringing his mother with him, that will be fun.

I will actually be getting a break from the show during the big football games. We all decided that it wasn’t worth trying to do a show when half the audience is at the game instead.

On a different note. I woke this morning haunted by David Allan Coes “Long Haired RedNeck” specifically the part that goes, “And I can sing all them songs about Texas..” and then I woke a second time haunted by 45 Grave’s “Riboflavin” song. What is up with all of that?

Tomorrow is a long day. The play party and all. But, I fe4el all warm inside. I just talked to my stupid monkey boy in Houston. We all know I love my dumb ape.

I tried to reach him earlier while Mistress natasha and I were dressing the Sean in a vinyl maid’s dress and a wig and make-up, but nothing will be like my big dumb monkey and me. I had to leave him because I love him too much, and he just told me he loves me too much too. So I am a monkey lover…doomed and hopeless.