It has been 3 years almost to the date that my friend Christian shot himself. It was a tragic time for me, I was very upset, and it came only 2 or 3 weeks before my close friend Greg died of an epileptic siezure in his art school dorm room in NYC. This seems the time of year that most of the young tragic deaths happen. Then there was Sam, who performed with Bozo Porno Circus after I had left, killing herself by the same method Christian did with in days of him. I didn’t talk to Sam too often, but Shannon and Heather and I used to think her latex allergy was fun to scare her with by all dressing in latex in the night clubs and trying to walk real close to her so she would get scared and run away. I remember seeing her on Jerry Springer too.

All these thoughts came up because i took this silly on line quiz and got “Christian”.

You are Christian.

Poppy Z. Brite Quiz – Which Lost Souls Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I didn’t sleep for days when I found out about Christian, I sat up angry and upset I didn’t have the chance to be there for him because I had moved away. I was angry that I took it for granted that I could just visit Houston and see him any old time, and now i can’t. I remembered his way of just showing up at my house in the middle of the night and making me laugh, and talking. The way he wanted me to get tink away from him the last time we had dinner at One’s A Meal when I visited houston after moving to New Orleans. I remember my monkey and I finally getting out of bed after a party had ended at my house and we had been alone for hours, only to find that Christian had snuck in the dungeon, hooked himself up to the TENS unit and fallen asleep, and no one realized he was there till monkey and I would walk in looking for toys to take back to bed, and find Christian waking up. Christian and his latex shirt talking and hanging out on the patio at Numbers. I miss him.

I miss greg and his great creativity, style, and way all the girls were insanely hot for him. His mother wanted me and Shannon to make sure he didn’t miss his epilepsy medication when he lived with us. He was taking it when he died, but the medication doesn’t work if you don’t keep regular sleep paterns.
In an unsupervised siezure one can easily hit their head or swallow their tongue. When Greg and I used to perform with Bozo Porno Circus, and get hotel rooms together with Lori on our trips out of town to do shows, and he would wear my thigh high boots and a thong and my Cookie Puss floor length coat to flyer in the streets. When we would lock in and sit up all night silently drawing together. When he lived with me and Shannon and I would hang him from his ankles by the rafters in our house. We were only 18 or 19, and Shannon 15. He would have this game where I would attack him while he was upside down, and he would try to attack me back with out equilibrium. Long nights of talking. His and my friendship had a rough point at one time because I would make out with Heather while he was off at school, but we both knew Heather was his, and I was just friends with them both and wouldn’t do it to disrespect him, but just for fun. I wish I hadn’t missed his going away party the last time he lived in Houston. And now it is too late with yet another person.

I am tempted to go down the list of all the people I have lost so tragic and young, but I would be here for ever.

It’s like Jim Carrol’s People Who Died…they were all my friends and they died.