Last night was wild…Southern Decadence usually is. I was the fetish nun. I ended up bouncing from club to club and bar to bar. jacque and I made it home kind of early and went straight to sleep.

I lost my tongue ring last night, I need to thank everyone that works at Angeli’s for finding me something to use as a retainer till I made it to my 12g barbell back home. No stores were open that sold piercing jewelry. I wasn’t sacrificing another piercing. I lost so many tongue piercings just to have them redone, and I lost my hood piercing too. I really want to get that re-pierced.

I am now getting ready to go to the parade, and the Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum. Lara is out shopping and meeting us there.

After going and flyering and hanging out all day with Lara, she and I returned home at midnight and passed out cold. The “good doctor” was knocking on the door and calling us, but we couldn’t hear anything. We had lovely vanilla-apple martinis.

I have a session in a short bit, then it is off to the club. We had to be put on the guest list in advance tonight, because it is the middle of Decadence and the cover is $20, and the manager probably won’t have time to usher us in otherwise.

I am dressed as a nun and bringing my “jackhammer jesus” dildo to go fuck with the asshole christians that are harassing merry makers.

I have been lazy most of the day. I just had a scene with “empty”.

Last night I had this pretty blackgirl get a crush on me and she has been calling today. I did pressure on certain arteries till she would pass out in orgasm, and she got hooked. That is a fun game. I even did it to “empty” today.

I can’t wait to be fabulous. I am so exhausted.

Oh, and in an ending note, my condolences to the friends of Frankie…I just heard about her suicide last night and didn’t know the wake was last night. I saw her everywhere but we had never met.

Lara put of coming to town till tomorrow. She is hoping to be here by noon or so. Wheee. I am about to step out…club hoping. I am dressed like a ballerina doll. I look a lot like the blonde girls in the cell. I just got my hair done. It took 2 and a half hours…2 color treatments, cut and condition. I didn’t feel like being there any longer so I went home and did my own pedicure and teeth bleaching. I love being a girl. All this vanity and self indulgence.

I was so good to myself today that I even made Jacque and myself salmon and asparagus for dinner. Yumm. Damn, I rock!

After coming home from “napoleon’s” for yet another movie night, and the day spa, I came home and watched Barry Lyndon, which we had copied for Todd.

I am tired, but can’t refuse a Thursday out. And the “good Dr.” is coming over to supply my Zoloft and drive us to the club before returning to the hospital. That is a great help. Zoloft is expensive. It is good to not feel like I can’t find the energy to get out of bed, like depression causes. It sucks, and if you don’t have it you are very fortunate.

Oh, retail therapy is the greatest. I have a hair appointment tomorrow at noon with my old friend Raquel at Stardust. I got a few DVDs and vhs. One is Pilates, another is Yoga, then there are such classics as the hearse, Satanic Rites of Dracula, White Zombie, Dario Argento’s Phantom of the Opera, Oh Brother Where Art Thou, Big Lebowski, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, Y Tu Mama Tambien.

I am off to “napoleon’s” for movies in a little while.

Last night my neighbor, matt, came over for late movies after we got back from movie night at the club. I watched Purple Rain last night which makes me want to do the whole Vanity/Apolonia 6 thing with rhinestone jewelry and lingerie.

Ohy, I went to House of Lounge today too, and bought a cute skirt and some undies, and huge rhinestone hoop earings. I wonder what happened to my rhinestone necklace I bought last spring for Eroticon. So much of my clothes and jewelry has come up missing.

Ugh, I need that Red Bull in the fridge, and a coffee enema wouldn’t hurt. I am exhausted from going to the Bull Dog for trivia and Framboise. And then following that up with another 4 or so hours of movie watching at “napoleon’s” Then passing out only to be worried about time. I had to get home, straighten a little, be presentable and all for my first session of the day.

I don’t get the luxury of napping like I had thought would be possible. I have yet another 2 hour session arriving in a short bit, and then I have one before I go out tonight to movies at the club.

Due to my hectic week I only get to go to “napoleon’s” tomorrow night, then the rest of the week, until Tuesday, is completely occupied with other events and people.

I have a treat for this next session. He loves enemas, and I will give him a bit of champagne. I got him into red wine enemas. He loves medical scenes, but won’t do play piercing or scrotal infusion. Dammit! I love that stuff. He does love electro play though. Just wait till he feels the bubbles. tickle tickle. He is a catheter junkie too. God, this must be his 20th or 30th session with me. We play usually every month, sometimes every two, and occasionally twice a month. He is a real sweety, and I love chatting and playing with him.

Ugh, my alarm will soon sound, alerting me to get ready. It lets me know that I need a once over of equipment and dungeon and see that I am presentable.

One more day till Lara arrives. All weekend I get to have a ball with her. My work is play for me, so even when we have to get serious and work on the fetish ball, we will still be enjoying it.

you secretly want to make love to.. by karlozm
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you want to make love to:	whores
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Well, it has been another night in, and now I am off for a bit to “napoleon’s” house to watch more movies.

Swimming was fun. The sun made me fall right a sleep when I got home.

I won’t have that luxury tomorrow. I have atleast 4 hours in session, and then I have movie night at the club, if I am not worn out from sessions.

Then there is Wednesday, the last day of any rest before the start of my Southern Decadence weekend. Lara is coming in at 3p.m. on Thursday. I get to hang out, play and work on our stuff for the fetish ball next month. I also have a long session day on Thursday, but that is okay, maybe we will surprise cute little “b” with Lara joining myself and Jacque. Then comes Friday, the official start of Southern Decadence. The christians are trying to stop it, but the businesses and the gay community are fighting to keep this first of the tourist season wild and free. Bourbon Street isn’t for children anyway.

What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch
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Your last words will be…	“sex?!!?”
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I awake to my eldest cat head butting me and climbing me, pushing his way all through my blanket. he was telling me that they need food and water. I was still trying to sleep a bit more. Then Todd calls…swim time. Alright I guess I should get up, I have to pay the water bill on the way anyway, and the cats are telling me I was naughty and let the food bowl get low.

Insomnia is back with a vengance, I hang on to the last minutes of sleep as hard as possible since it is hell trying to get to sleep. I just stayed in last night watching Six Feet Under and Vanilla Sky by myself. I had contemplateded going to the Saint or half Moon, but I just liked the solitude and wanted to finish the series. I watched the whole first season.

Ugh, I am just a homebody for the most part.
If not at my house on Friday, I was at “Napoleon’s” watching movies, and then last night I dropped in Flynn’s Leo B-day party (20’s theme), then came home with my neighbors Twila, Matt and my other friend Mat for more movies and champagne.
The man who fell to Earth, Frailty, Shallow Hal, Signs.
I even had “empty” over earlier yesterday watching “Sick:Bob Flanagan, Super Masochist. It’s just a lazy day. I have a session in about an hour and a half, so I better pull together.

I fear for the social situation and the emotional lives of my friends in Houston.

A sick and sad event has occured. A beautiful boy was wasted, innocence lost, things that can never be undone or regained. Nightmares will haunt many who don’t deserve them just due to witnessing such horror. A city that wasn’t supportive of that scene in the first place will now, most likely, turn even more cold and hateful.

If this last weekend in Houston didn’t make me want Batty and Kelly to move here more quickly, now the events I have heard from tonight really do. I feel bad for everyone that wasn’t involved. This effects you beyond your consent and control. For the depraved actions of one person, another person died and a whole community suffers.

I wretch and feel ill at the thought that someone could do that to another person. I love you guys and miss you. I can’t think of one thing, one disagreement or one jelousy or one anything, that is worth the life of another person. If you feel that life is so cheap as to take another’s so carelessly then why should anyone respect yours? Much less that it was done, not through accident but through malice.

We all feel rage and intense dark emotions from time to time, but if we all walked about acting upon them there would be no one standing.

I can’t feel bad for the lost life because he is gone and feels no pain now, I can’t cry for the guilty because they did what they knew was wrong. I hurt for all of those who had nothing to do with it but still will suffer the repercusions of such a disgusting act of violence.

The thought of penetrating another in such hate and anger and fatally harming anyone under any circumstances just makes me ill. Especially when I didn’t know the parties but had been around them and knew of them as well as they knew of me. The true victims are the survivors. The family, the friends, the witnesses, and all those vicariously effected.

I feel for all of you going through this dark bleek happening, and in a sad way I am greatful I am not there. I too will most likely feel the rift it is making in the community upon my next trip to Houston. I feel it someways tonight, even though I am so far away.

I am to perform along side the performance/body modification company that the lost one was part of on my trip to Houston next month. I have a picture of him from last year. He was so beautiful and quiet. I just can’t imagine.

I really really reach out to all of you in any way I can.