Girls, don’t be a psycho ex…if a guy says “don’t talk to me ever again” or leave me alone” take it very literal.

Last night, my off again on again boyfriend of 4 years broke down after a week long apart and called me. When I saw his name on the caller ID my first words out of my mouth were, “gigggle giggle, are you still mad at me?”

He responds in discussion about how he hates that he can’t stay mad at me (even though I stood him up 3 days in a row), that I shouldn’t always assume that we will come back together, and that he needs me to be more reliable.

I just don’t take him seriously. I do my thing, I do what I want, and if he throws a tantrum, that’s fine. Let him stomp and pout it all out, and when he is over it he will call. And if not I will most likely be too busy to notice.

Plus, he is such a good boy he understands the dynamic I like to live my relationships under. That the word “boyfriend” really is very flexible. Boyfriend is usually the priority boy…this is why I still refer to him as my ex when we date. And then there are my gay boyfriends…who are gay boys I joke about marrying and having kids with (eeek, just joking). Then there are “fuckboys”. They are the ones that are whores so they can’t be called a boy friend because they just can’t. They are usually the bad boys that are better in bed, and crazy as all hell (psychos usually are more fun in bed), and because they can’t play you into believing they aren’t a whore they have a hard time in adjusting to caring about you intensly. I know a whore when I see one, and even though I will still date them, I let them know that I know they are sluts and that I don’t care as long as they don’t lie to me, they keep the other people they see out of my way, don’t fuck with my money, and don’t bring me cooties.

Then there is the special fuck boys who are called “designated fuckboy”…which is when I like a slut boy enough to keep interested in just him for a few months, before using my rights in an open relationship.