As I drag myself from the bed I have been trying to recover from last night at 735. Only so I can get up in a little bit and do it all over again.

“Teeny Weeny” called and asked what I was doing, and after saying I was hung over, I told him I was going out. He reminded me of my broken condition, and suggested I stay in and be a “good girl”, but I already did that once this last week. I’d hate to ruin my bad reputation, lol. But I’m not drinking tonight.

So as my head throbs, and my stomach is sour, I force down some food, pick out my dress (Jaque-Oh and I are going Asian style tonight in the “Hollywood Geisha” clothing I have from Lip Service). I simply can’t miss tonight.

This reminds me, I have to get out a fall, and a skirt for so he can get a drag show lined up. He’s my gay husband, lol, and he is so beautiful. Check out his journal.

Lara Paine just wrote me…she says Dare Ware is talking to her about me coming back in September to do the Fetish Ball like I did last year.

This year it will be with Lara and myself co-dominating. I suggested Jacque-Oh for the stage, especially since she is extremely into playing.

I have created a monster. You can’t keep her away from the electricity as a top or a bottom. She wants it all the time. I remember when I was that fresh and new to it. I still am excited and obsessive, but there is a bright eyed wonder when a young pervert suddenly has adventurous play partners and new knowledge and unusual toys. She is a switch which is the best way for her to learn more about submissives, and learn more techniques, and a perspective of why we don’t do certain things and how to better a technique.

We have done some beautiful scenes with her subbing to me. She is a cutie. Bubbly, pretty, and boobs that leave many men dumb-founded. They are hypnotic. We have done scenes for voyeurs and they have gone nuts. She is working out better than almost every person who has worked with me. I think it is more because she doesn’t let ego interfere with learning. Dominant ego is great for image, but you have to have some humility in the begining to allow yourself to admit you are a novice, and need more learning.

No one knows everything, not me, not people that have been doing this 30 years. But many I have encountered that want to be a pro-domme act as if they already know everything when you start them with basics. It is important to do a refresher, and make sure they know safety even in the most mundane and simple acts such as flogging. Just to make sure that what they know is complete…and who knows, they might even have something to share with me, that I can learn from them. Something tyhat escaped my knowledge in the last 15+ years of lifestyle (10 professional).

I am not really romantic, but I am vibrant, full of life, and love, and energy. I am very caring, but I just don’t have much romance. I guess the song that sums up my idea of romance best would be Lords of Acid:Rough Sex

Awwwww, you are a ROMANTIC! Whether you’re
floating on cloud 9, or singing in the rain,
you’re ready for love and ready to live life to
the fullest. Everything is beautiful and
nothing can be all bad in your wonderful
opinion. Go on and grab your dancing shoes and
have a night on the town with the love of your
life, you romantic person you!

Which categorical personality are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was going to be a good girl and go with Jacque-oh, but we both decided to play hookie and hang out with Deana tonight at 735. She is serving up $2 cocktails, and Conner is spinning electronica, and I am bringing some videos for us, like Nick Zedd’s War is Menstral Envy, Troma’s Blood Sucking Freaks, John Waters Desperate Living, Pink Floyd’s The Wall, and Strange Land.

And just a post for Nick Zedd, who I have started chatting with on Friendster…he needs our help. He is in a financial crunch and need you to buy his videos and dvd through his website at http://nickzedd.com
I want a copy of his Wild World of Lydia Lunch, as well as all the other flicks I lack of his.

He also is looking for editors to help him with his latest work which is the second episode of Electra Elf, specifically Final Cut Pro 3 editors. This is straight from the man himself. He is a god of the cult art films.

I love the internet. I have developed friendships and aquaintances with many famous underground icons.

Well, all you New Orleans people, lets go hang out with Deana for cheap drinks tonight at 735.

I hope I don’t miss at the Country Club.

I love Todd…it will suck swimming with out him. Gotta pay an ad while I’m out there too.

Where is Jacque-oh? She is MIA and her phone is here. She wanted me to go with her last night, but I was a good girl and slept.

Swimming delayed.

Dammit. This appointment was set for noon…I told him I am a dominatrix, I don’t do massage, I ran down a simplified list of the most requested activities I get into.

He shows up before 11:15. When he asked for 11:30 on the phone I told him “No” and he accepted the noon appointment. Then he shows up at 11:45 because I wouldn’t let him in. I still told him to come back at noon. I will not be manipulated into a time when i told him on the phone “Not till noon.”

Then he comes back at noon. Actually 12:04, but this is not as bad as rushing me, and not excessively late.

We sit down for consensual negotiations. He says that he wants basically foreplay because his wife neglects him. “No!” I tell him that those are the services escorts provide that is why their ads say, “the girl friend experience”.

I tell him I need him to be able to express his consensual limitations, and have some reasonable insight to where his fantasies stem in BDSM. I don’t follow script, but his fantasies clue me into the dynamic, and his psychological approach to the scene. Psychology is essential to BDSM, to know what mostlikely spawned his fantasies, and to know how to use his fantasies to take him somewhere new and exciting that works with my fantasies and fetishes.

Then out of his desperation for some type of attention he says he will do what ever to be allowed to stay. I wouldn’t accept it. I need to know that the person before me is giving themself to me because there is a want to, not because they are so lonely and desperate that even bad attention would be good attention. I need to know that I am not going to hear the safeword every five seconds. If they call safe words every few seconds it usually means that neither of us derive any pleasure from the scene. Both of us leave frustrated, and I get a huge headache.

If I did domination strictly because of financial gain I would have no problem accepting that session, but I love BDSM, and to accept it would ruin something that I find great pleasure in.

The moral of this story…communicate clearly, know what you are here for, and don’t cause me a headache or I will send you home….No soup for you.

Girls, don’t be a psycho ex…if a guy says “don’t talk to me ever again” or leave me alone” take it very literal.

Last night, my off again on again boyfriend of 4 years broke down after a week long apart and called me. When I saw his name on the caller ID my first words out of my mouth were, “gigggle giggle, are you still mad at me?”

He responds in discussion about how he hates that he can’t stay mad at me (even though I stood him up 3 days in a row), that I shouldn’t always assume that we will come back together, and that he needs me to be more reliable.

I just don’t take him seriously. I do my thing, I do what I want, and if he throws a tantrum, that’s fine. Let him stomp and pout it all out, and when he is over it he will call. And if not I will most likely be too busy to notice.

Plus, he is such a good boy he understands the dynamic I like to live my relationships under. That the word “boyfriend” really is very flexible. Boyfriend is usually the priority boy…this is why I still refer to him as my ex when we date. And then there are my gay boyfriends…who are gay boys I joke about marrying and having kids with (eeek, just joking). Then there are “fuckboys”. They are the ones that are whores so they can’t be called a boy friend because they just can’t. They are usually the bad boys that are better in bed, and crazy as all hell (psychos usually are more fun in bed), and because they can’t play you into believing they aren’t a whore they have a hard time in adjusting to caring about you intensly. I know a whore when I see one, and even though I will still date them, I let them know that I know they are sluts and that I don’t care as long as they don’t lie to me, they keep the other people they see out of my way, don’t fuck with my money, and don’t bring me cooties.

Then there is the special fuck boys who are called “designated fuckboy”…which is when I like a slut boy enough to keep interested in just him for a few months, before using my rights in an open relationship.

Around the 7th of August Jacque-Oh and I will be flown to Houston for a few days. I love my Houston boys, and one has made arrangements for us to fly. This means I will get to play with all those I miss so much. I will get to get some new fetish clothes because the stores here just don’t have what they have back home. WE WILL BE IN FOR FRIDAYS AT #’s.

I will probably see about doing some sessions out of Mistress Lara Paine or Mistress Precious’s dungeon. Joy Joy Joy. I haven’t seen Mistress Precious since she flew here for a fetish party at my dungeon. And I haven’t seen Lara since January. Maybe she will have a dungeon party that weekend, or maybe there will be and HPEP function.

Any of my Houston friends want to put us up? I am certain Lara will, she did one of the last times. I always have her here. I love my Lara.

Also I will get to see my Dez!!! And her family…I love her whole little tribe. That means I don’t have to wait till November to see her again. I love you Dez!

This time I won’t have my pouting ex there, and will be able to do #’s like we used to. I wish Shannon were still in Texas when I visit, but she will be in New Mexico (what a hideous place).

Speaking of Hideous!!! Where is my Hideous Jeff? God, I love and miss all of you.
Maddy, Sarah, Michelle, Batty, Kelly, Miss Hell, Gear-mo, Sandra, Miss Marcus, Jason, Karen, Kyle, Carmina, Heather, Jennifer, all of you I didn’t name.

Texas is the place! Drop your pants, bend over and squeel like a pig.

I am doing the “happy dance”. I am bubbling over with love for all over you, I feel like I’m going to pop. I will die of anticipation. I will die to get to be with you guys.

And I have a season pass to Six Flags so maybe it should be hardcore underground day at AstroWorld!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE ALL OF YOU!

I don’t smoke, but damned if the session I just had doesn’t make me want a cigarette!

Christ! I had Jaque-oh join me as a sub for a voyeur session. This is the first time she has had a pro-sub scene. She usually subs for me just for our own kicks.

We had such a wonderful scene that all of us, including the guest voyuer were just giddy and glowing after. Damn. I am just as dizzy from it as she is. I kept her underwear on her the whole scene…more because it was our first time seeing him, and that would be a bit more personal, once he gets to know us better we might reconcider the stance. I still did genital torture/teasing and torment, just behind the shroud of lace panties.

It was the first time I did shi-bari bondage on her. Her breast are perfect for bondage. And the suction cups really got her attention. I gave her an altoids strip in the panties, cinnamon flavored, just to spice it up before I electrified her.

Hmmmmm. We have a session in a little while where we are both going to dominate a sub together. I can not begin to express what a help she has been. And she is fun. We are rather attatched. This morning I found myself telling my company that I was dying to wake her up…he asked why, and I said because Jaque and I have so much fun and I just want to play.

She says that she finds herself missing me like crazy the few hours that we spend apart while she is at work. We go out and get into lots of fun trouble at night, and spend our days talking, sleeping, and working together.

I can’t wait till 9 and we play with a subby together, and then dash out to 1984 at 735 Bourbon. Wheeeeeeee. Beware New Orleans, we are quite a gruesome twosome.

I have had less than a handful of people this close to me. Shannon and Claudia are the main two…but Claudia didn’t share my professional life. Shannon and Jaque both have been involved in every aspect of my life. I miss my Claudia, goddamn it. Anytime anything happens I want to pick up the phone and share it with her.